Words from the retard take a sombre tone this week. We got beat convincingly Saturday, fact, OK the field looked like it had been used for dogging but it was the same for both teams. Quite honestly we were poor and to top it off I thought I had broke my snout, my eyes haven’t watered like that since trying to copy the buggery scene from pulp fiction with Danny. Obviously I was the taker.We need to take a look at our performance; it’s hard to believe we were the same team from the week before. I was unsure as to if Ross actually turned up Saturday, and then someone from the home team complained about all the half time biscuits being stolen, case closed, he was there. Banksy’s got fed up with swearing at refs, kicking the ball away in disgust and so forth, he’s taken things to a new level, you could call it self harming but I’d call it lack of ability, as a ball was rolled toward him he tried to control it but only succeeded in flicking the ball into his own eyeball, fuck he’s shit. Me and Stevie Collins wet ourselves from the side, you can’t teach that Tito, awesome.
Sunday wasn’t much better, we equalise, they score again, we equalise they score again. You get the picture. It was like Groundhog Day. On a positive note Danny scored a bullet header at the near post but lets be honest his head was always going to make it their first. The defender had no chance, I heard their centre back giving the offending full back a bollocking, to which he replied "you try marking Robin Gibb then". It was like a 100m sprint only when Danny dipped his head at the finish he caught up, took over and entered himself into the triple jump.
Birdy was carried off injured late on, well I say carried off, it took six men and a crane to shift him. It looked like he could be crocked for a while, real shame he was just starting to look sharp again. Mr ‘Poopey pants’ Sherwood made his return after a week off with the screamers, Ross spent a lot of time hanging round Kev in the hope he would pick it up. Ross was heard in the changing rooms saying "I could do with a bout of that for a month or two to loose some weight", I’m not sure that’s advisable but neither is taking up skirts with the ole ‘camera falling on the floor trick’ and he gets away with that. Try HIV Ross.
So Bratislava, after all I’m sure that’s why I started this corner. We need to find a theme. Last year was wigs which went down a storm this year we need to better it. I’m thinking the obvious option would be daft hats but for some reason I’m being drawn towards anything that’s ill fitting and made of lycra, some things never change! I did think 80’s PE teachers but Banksy started to sweat when I mentioned it, I think he may have been abused by his PE teacher at a young age, explains a lot. Then I thought Jimmy Saville outfits but red shell suits are hard to come by now even in Yarmouth. I think possibly the next online Poll should decide this one.
Peace out homeys
