What a success, Saturdays Bike Crawl was, I say success in the loosest possible term as for many it may result in them missing vital training and pre season friendly’s, one of which being me!The day started quite sedate at the Carlton Bell, special mentions to Boydie who’s grass skirt and child’s sunglasses where a delight. Also worth a mention is Anthony Ogogo’s and Max Wall’s lady’s blouses, Kev is still erect just at the thought.
After having two in the Bell we took the arduous journey 100 yards across the road to the Red house where the anti was upped seeing Simon Sterry loose the first two drinking games of the day…what can I say, its in the blood!
From the Red House we moved to the ship, Steve Collins thought it was a race, then he realised when he got to the Ship I had the kitty, not such a good idea after all. Cycling was now something we all had to concentrate on, turning corners was tricky and braking sharply was something you simply didn’t do….I’ll get onto that in a mo!
From the Ship it all starts to get a bit hazy, I’m pretty sure we called at the Trowel and Hammer where we were given a frosty reception to say the least, Odd fellows where Hunty got into a row with some miserable tosser who said he might of touched his car by leaning our bikes on near his house! It wasn’t long after the Trowel that Stez’s shots from the Red house kicked in. I took evasive action to avoid something… I think.. and the next thing I know Simon was shouting and I looked round to see him lying on his back with his bike upside down. The story goes he anchored on as I braked in front but he went over the handle bars as he tugged a little to hard, story of my life! Nasty gravel cut on the hands, unlucky.
Next we sampled the delights of the Tramways then the Carlton. The Carlton was possibly the most amusing of all the bars and some stories remain sacred but there was a lot of man love in the room, the things some people will do for a beer hey?! Karaoke started here and we had to physically remove the mic from Thackers and Boydies clutches as they murdered ‘the one and only’ by Chesney Hawks. Dan did his usual rendition of ‘loosing my religion’ by REM and cleared the bar or was that Liams breath after eating a pot of cockles in the Tramways? From the Carlton it really did get messy but what I do remember quite clearly is my gears slipping and me falling onto my cross bar, resulting in my feet falling off the pedals and dragging my bare feet onto the road. If it wasn’t for the fact I was numb through alcohol and Boydie laughing hysterically at me I would of cried! The next pub was the Plough and Sail. By now everyone had drunk way too much and cycling required more concentration than major heart surgery. Next to fall Was Steve Collins and Kev Sherwood. After a very blurry drink in the plough and sail it was off to the Edge. I have clear memories of buying 14 tequila’s, dancing bare foot but that’s about it. Rumour has it on route from the Edge to PBHQ Steve Collins and Kev Sherwood both fell off. Kev got lodged in a bush and couldn’t get out and Steve was unable to help him as he was pole axed on the concrete. Luckily for Kev a policeman helped him out of the bush! For some reason Mr Policeman decided not to nick him for any of the offences he had broke; drunk in charge of a bike, riding with no lights and riding on the promenade, Kev you’re a lucky bastard! Not sure if it was on this occasion or later but Steve on route to somewhere was peering over his shoulder only to hit a parked car and damage two of his toes! If you listen to him they are broken but if you ask me he is just trying to get out of the bleep test again!
So thanks to a bike crawl we now have, players with broken toes, toes with no skin on them, no skin on there hands and everyone involved has permanent liver damage, brilliant bring on the next one!
An excellent day/night and thanks to those who made the effort, shame on you Banksy, moving house!? Some people will go to any length just to get an easy life…
