Hello readers! About a month into our training now and I’m starting to see some improvements, we only lost 1 ball at training from the shooting practise, that’s progress. Shooting practise has also proved one other thing, we need to practise more. Both Ross and Banksy were awful, you don’t have to break the goal lads just get it in. Its there girlfriends and wife’s I feel sorry for, if they have that much finesse under pressure and pump balls near a goal with that much gusto just imagine what they must be like with a thumping hard on and the horn. They must be like fat kids in a sweet shop, dribbling and weezing after three minutes and then on the fourth minute all finished. Then they throw up.
One friendly down and half a game against Pakefield and it all looks promising. We need games now to get rid of the rust and silly mistakes (yes I know, I cocked up) and I honestly think we can do well this season. Our problem in the past has been starting slow so I’m hopeful with the amount of effort everyone (well most of us) have put in it will pay off. Its good to see some new faces in the team and it’s given us all a bit of a lift. It also means we are all looking over our shoulder with people pressing for positions. Even Dan’s managerial position is in jeopardy after Winston (the simpleton who wears the big long coat and follows Hearts of Oak round) was seen chatting to Wally outside PBHQ last week. Rumour has it though his demands of a new set of teeth and a vibrating pussy have resulted in negotiations falling through. Wally is however hopeful that his second choice will come good, the Puppet man of Norwich! Puppet Man or ‘Pup’ to his mates released this statement: ‘Get me a radio mic, a new pram to carry my kit, wash Betsy the dog and I’m yours’ More on this breaking news in my next instalment.
This weekend see’s our second attempt at the bleep test and the boozy bike ride. The bleep test is a good way to monitor your own fitness, if you got 4 last time (Rosey) try and get 4.1 this time, you get the picture. If you get less your either not trying hard enough or you have been on the Darren Laws ‘Zante beach’ diet for the past two weeks. The bike crawl should be a good laugh. We are potentially breaking two laws though, 1, riding whilst under the affluence of incohol and 2, riding a bike along the beach promenade. Take some bail money and a sleeping bag as the mattresses in Lowestoft’s local prison or B&B as Lawsey calls it, aint much cop. Boydie I can tell is slightly apprehensive about Sat as his comments on the blog show. If you that worried mate pull a Mckinley on us, this involves the following; drink pimms all night, refuse to do shots and palm them off to me then fake an argument with your missus and disappear off in a huff at 8pm. Failing that go for the tried and tested Banksy method; drink too much too soon, loose control of all bodily functions, shit yourself, puke on yourself, remove all your clothes and rely on your mates to get you home…. Shit, hang on that’s me?!
Peace out brothers and see you Saturday morning for more blood sweat and tears.
