Well we are back on home soil, most of us are by now are back to work, back to the real world but hey wasn’t it all worth it?!
If you ask Smithy or Danny they may tell you different as they hit rock bottom after stepping off the plane. Smithy has been vomiting since Monday night and coughing up fur balls from those fertile cats and Danny turned himself inside out through his arse.
Infact some of the emails I’ve seen floating around would suggest most people have at some point suffered anal disruptions. After scoffing a curry with Danny, Ross and Kev Sunday night I sharted myself on Dan’s couch. I legged it to the loo and passed what can only be described as slurry! There may have been the odd furball but the smell of Ammonia was over powering so I couldn’t take a closer look.
Targer has been offshore since getting back and was slightly relieved when he realise he wasn’t the only one suffering from bowl problems. He thought it might have been something he eat!
Steve Collins went to the gym for a run and was promptly asked to leave after exterminating fellow gym members with his potent SBD’s. On closer inspection his pants where given the all clear and are good to use again though.
Landsy has booked himself in with Bupa for a hip replacement after chasing Targer down the street in Brat and falling a little heavy….well lets be honest he was never gonna fall any other way! You will be pleased to know however he is back on his diet and has cancelled his appearance on channel 4’s Skinny VS Fat with me.
Banksy has finally given up on getting a text from his lover he met whilst in Brat. Whilst she could blow him all night and oscillate at the touch of her button, up right fans are a long way off texting and writing to people. Don’t worry Neil I’m sure another will come along soon!
Good news, after consuming several shots of death and dealing with the resulting double stroke Max is up and about. Unfortunately he has been left slightly slow down his left side but if you ask me he always suffered a bit there anyway.
The grapevine tells me George has had a letter from a Bratislavan citizen named Chloe! The letter was marked ‘Virgin Islands’ and read “ Hello big Georgie, thank you for the money you so easily handed over, I am currently enjoying the fruits of this on holiday with my 6 sisters. I am confused by this number 15 card I also grabbed?? People keep forcing me to do shots and I have no understanding why, could you please explain. Lots of love Big George, Chloe from outside Medusa. Xxx
Well Chloe let me explain, get it out of your pocket if you hear 15 called, hold it up and you don’t drink your shot…..unless your Danny of course and then you never do it at all!!
Goldy’s eyebrow is growing back nicely however he is considering keeping it off after successfully getting off with 90% of the women in Charlies!
I could go on, I never mentioned Danny Rose and how he has had to check into rehab, Birdy and how he has to join fat fighters after eating three quarter pounders and two big tastys, Jas ‘the Brazilian’ and how he is now dealing in pornographic pictures of his girlfriend! Needless to say I had a wicked time; I hope everyone else did too.
Lastly has anyone seen Wally or has still not moved from his table in the Dubliner out of spite? Internet reports suggest the staff have tried just about everything to get him out but the drunken chants of “we shall not, we shall not be moved” can be heard back as far as the Carlton. Which reminds me I must order a cab! See ya soon
PS – Don’t despair, as we all know Danny is getting married again (oops secret no more) later on in the year and I have stupidly been left with the task of arranging his stag do! He tells me It’s an open invite to PBFC members so if you fancy Malia for 3 nights first week of September let me know!
If you ask Smithy or Danny they may tell you different as they hit rock bottom after stepping off the plane. Smithy has been vomiting since Monday night and coughing up fur balls from those fertile cats and Danny turned himself inside out through his arse.
Infact some of the emails I’ve seen floating around would suggest most people have at some point suffered anal disruptions. After scoffing a curry with Danny, Ross and Kev Sunday night I sharted myself on Dan’s couch. I legged it to the loo and passed what can only be described as slurry! There may have been the odd furball but the smell of Ammonia was over powering so I couldn’t take a closer look.
Targer has been offshore since getting back and was slightly relieved when he realise he wasn’t the only one suffering from bowl problems. He thought it might have been something he eat!
Steve Collins went to the gym for a run and was promptly asked to leave after exterminating fellow gym members with his potent SBD’s. On closer inspection his pants where given the all clear and are good to use again though.
Landsy has booked himself in with Bupa for a hip replacement after chasing Targer down the street in Brat and falling a little heavy….well lets be honest he was never gonna fall any other way! You will be pleased to know however he is back on his diet and has cancelled his appearance on channel 4’s Skinny VS Fat with me.
Banksy has finally given up on getting a text from his lover he met whilst in Brat. Whilst she could blow him all night and oscillate at the touch of her button, up right fans are a long way off texting and writing to people. Don’t worry Neil I’m sure another will come along soon!
Good news, after consuming several shots of death and dealing with the resulting double stroke Max is up and about. Unfortunately he has been left slightly slow down his left side but if you ask me he always suffered a bit there anyway.
The grapevine tells me George has had a letter from a Bratislavan citizen named Chloe! The letter was marked ‘Virgin Islands’ and read “ Hello big Georgie, thank you for the money you so easily handed over, I am currently enjoying the fruits of this on holiday with my 6 sisters. I am confused by this number 15 card I also grabbed?? People keep forcing me to do shots and I have no understanding why, could you please explain. Lots of love Big George, Chloe from outside Medusa. Xxx
Well Chloe let me explain, get it out of your pocket if you hear 15 called, hold it up and you don’t drink your shot…..unless your Danny of course and then you never do it at all!!
Goldy’s eyebrow is growing back nicely however he is considering keeping it off after successfully getting off with 90% of the women in Charlies!
I could go on, I never mentioned Danny Rose and how he has had to check into rehab, Birdy and how he has to join fat fighters after eating three quarter pounders and two big tastys, Jas ‘the Brazilian’ and how he is now dealing in pornographic pictures of his girlfriend! Needless to say I had a wicked time; I hope everyone else did too.
Lastly has anyone seen Wally or has still not moved from his table in the Dubliner out of spite? Internet reports suggest the staff have tried just about everything to get him out but the drunken chants of “we shall not, we shall not be moved” can be heard back as far as the Carlton. Which reminds me I must order a cab! See ya soon
PS – Don’t despair, as we all know Danny is getting married again (oops secret no more) later on in the year and I have stupidly been left with the task of arranging his stag do! He tells me It’s an open invite to PBFC members so if you fancy Malia for 3 nights first week of September let me know!
