That’s more like it!! The rally cry was loud and clear and we all responded! Excellent team performance, couldn’t ask for more. A stroke of sheer brilliance for the goal?! Or was it hit and hope?! Birdy couldn’t of hit it sweeter if he had tried which suggests it was a miss kick but we’ll let you have that one, awesome, more of the same please. Whilst we were at times sublime, I honestly think we can get better, Burger was missing preparing for his forth coming wedding, Banksy is still trying to get out of his leotard after watching the Xmas special of Strictly Come Dancing in costume, Graham has been arrested after exposing himself to a groupie at one of Kurt’s gigs and Tants was taking part in a all day dogging extravaganza in Haddiscoe. So with these boys to come back and Gav has yet to hit the back of the net like we all know he is capable of we can only get better. Don’t take your foot off the gas lads, even if the special one and captain camp are away for the next fixture.I can’t possibly write this weeks ‘words from the retard’ without mentioning Danny’s cameo appearance on the pitch this week. Halfway through the first half I was scythed down with a knee high tackle, ok maybe not knee high but it felt worse than it looked I can assure you. Just as Dan was about reach me and administer the magic water (treats anything that stuff, just ask Gav) I was on about my fourth role. As I lay making the most of a painless challenge I heard a ‘nice tackle’ shout from the jeering Spexhall fans. Now whilst I’m used to these kinds of comments having such a beautiful piece, I reacted badly as I was sure my todger was carefully tucked away. With blood pumping through my head I leapt to my feet to accost the numerous Spexhall fans. Dan added a furore of abusive comments at elderly folk, Birdy also chipped in creating a war of words with the Spexhall bench and supporters club. This unfortunately invited the fat jibes to start, directed at both Dan and Birdy…. if we are honest we all giggled at em. They stopped fairly promptly as Gav came over and threatened to drop the lot of them!
The fans were left cursing themselves shortly after as Birdy hit wonder strike right into the top corner, you could argue the fat jibes spurred him on. In the 70th Minute just like Tore Andre Flo Dan stepped off the bench and took his position up front beside Gav. The Spex fans wondered if they were about to be made to eat their words for a second time as Dan attempted to out do the young Adam Bird. He started energetically and the colossal stature of both Gav and Danny looked to unsettle the Spexhall defence. Unfortunately after making one late tackle and a debateable 2 or 3 touches he was finished. Just like Lawsey in a cake shop or Kev watching babe station it was too much too soon and all over very quickly. He limped off the pitch like a porn star after double anal, even a chorus of ‘Jive Talking’ from the back four wasn’t enough to inspire him to continue, he was finished. Early reports suggest long term knee damage but Dr Fatty Head Hypochondriac was unavailable for an official statement on the injury.
As I write this its now Boxing day so I hope you have all had a good Christmas, I’m assuming as we are all such athletes we stayed off the booze and Mince pies?! Possibly allowed ourselves maybe the odd beer? Who am I kidding, the only fitness we are concentrating on is our drinking fitness for the forthcoming footy tour!!!!
Good luck for the next game, no doubt me and Dan will give you all a thought from America. Just think, when you lot all meet to play Carlton Rangers on the 5th Jan me and Dan will probably still be in Las Vegas!! More importantly it will be 5 weeks until the team hits the road for PB on tour part II!!
See you soon lads
Rob
PS – Please don’t mistake this week’s picture as Banksy in an 80’s tribute band, whilst the guy on the right may look like him complete with afro it’s actually the aptly named group Cameo in honour of Danny’s finest five minutes this season.
