Friday, December 14, 2007

Words from the Retard 14-12-07

With the weekends fixture abandoned after 30 mins, just long enough for the ref to claim his fee, I feel fairly hard done by. Not only were we winning after Cooper lashed in from close range but I also felt quite confident in defence with neither Kev ‘the cart horse’ Sherwood or Danny ‘later than a pregnant lady’ Rose beside me! Mind you Darren was talking to me less than female during rag week so it took a while to settle in, 29 minutes to be precise. Goldy looked assured after adjusting to the three at the back and Scotty Reynolds looked… well later than Graham at times, lucky not to get a yellow if you ask me.
The jogger’s nipple started to kick in and I felt wetter than Christopher Biggins in a leotard, so when the ref called time I was quietly pleased. Not so pleased when I stripped off in the changing rooms only to realise my clothes were still in the back of Danny’s car so I had to stand amongst men in my wet boxers, I know what your thinking but it was the first time!
We march on to next weeks game and too beat this lot we have to be prepared to walk through walls for each other. They are hard to break down but if we pull together we can do em!
Bratislava draws ever closer, I’m getting regular texts asking me when we go away so for those of you with a memory like a fish we go 8-10th February. Those who made the last tour will agree it’s advisable to take the Monday off to recover, that’s what I’m doing. Banksy is taking a month off.
So we have decided on a theme, perverts, or as we like to call him Neil Banks. I’m going for the Jonathan King/Ian Huntley look. If you get stuck for inspiration, speak to Rodney at PB HQ I’m sure he will have a few ideas.
Lastly, this weekend see’s the annual Potblack Football team Xmas night out, I would say I’m looking forward to it but who’s bloody idea was it to open it out to girlfriends!?! The clue is in the title ‘Football team Xmas night out’. Unless I missed something the closest we have to a female playing is Steve Collins (he is pretty). What you say if we are inviting them we all chuck our keys in and make a night of it?! On second thoughts that could go wrong, too many members of the same family are going to be there and the odds are stacked against them. You do the maths.