Pot Black Football Club

The end of an era

2010-08-10T13:16:00.003+01:00

After months of being terminally ill its with deep regret I have to inform you that this site has passed away. Its official time of death is unknown but what I do know is it went quietly and peacefully with very little pain.

The good news is its offspring is alive up and running and looking good. All updates will now be on the new site which can be found at http://www.potblackfc.co.uk/ Check it out!

Rob

NEW site under construction

2010-06-11T21:03:00.002+01:00

I am well aware the website has had no update for a while but there is a reason, I’m currently in the process of designing a new one! Bare with me as the wait will be well worth it.

Retard

End of Season Party

2010-05-25T18:11:00.001+01:00

(click on image to enlarge)

One Last Big Push!

2010-04-26T10:09:00.004+01:00

Lowestoft & District Div 1- 20/04/10

Pot Black FC- 1

Oxford Arms- 3

Match Overview- It never rains it really just pours and Tuesday nights game and final midweek fixture for PB dealt to sickening blows, a second consecutive defeat and an injury that will see Kev Sherwood sidelined for a long period. With the Gaffer away in Bury St Edmunds taking Mass in his second occupation as father Mckinley, Sterry stepped in to the caretaker role which has so far seen him face Norton, Hearts of Oak and Tuesdays fixture of Oxford Arms.. Cheers Dan. When the txt came through stating the team and lack of subs the immediate thoughts where, ‘we can’t afford any injuries’ oh how we’d come to regret that thought. With the spine of the side missing in The ‘Right Said Fred’ Boyds, PT, Crab Collins and Gav Hunt we were yet again forced to re-shuffle. Despite this reshuffle PB were still able to name a strong 11 with a back line of Sherwood, Sterry, Laws, Landsdale, Rose a midfield of Jim Harvey, Molby Jones, Targer, Rob Cooper and a front line of attack in Bird and Wilson.

The game looked to be an awesome affair as the first few blows were dealt with equal amounts of passion but inside 15 minutes the game was all but over as PB no1 Kev Sherwood jumped to collect a bread and butter catch only to fall to the ground after what seemed to be the slightest of nudges from the Oxford striker. Kev was obviously in pain and holding his knee but to be honest the noises coming from him as he writhed about in agony suggested the Oxford player may have been tooled up so I contemplated frisking the player for a knife. There were no visible signs of a break or stab wound for that matter and to his credit Kev tried to play on through the pain as we had zilcho subs let alone a sub keeper but the moment Kev was called into action he again broke down in agony. It was obvious his part in this game was over if not for the foreseeable future, Kev we all wish you a speedy recovery... See you Sat?! Step up Rob Cooper who gladly donned the green shirt and Gloves that Kev filled so well. With no subs PB had to play on with 10 men until either of the following happened; one of the named subs turned up or Kev borrowed a knee off one of the children on the skate park. Luckily for the children Max Wall turned up taking his usual spot in centre Mid with the slippery Simon Durrant taking up the left wing role.

The following 10mins saw an even affair play out with either side taking the driving seat and just when you thought loosing Kev so early might not have an effect a nothing free kick saw the Oxford striker somehow find space between the colossal pairing of Laws and Lansdale, and the goal mouth usually commanded by the veteran Sherwood. His unmarked header was nonchalantly guided past Rob Cooper who was still trying to work out how to tighten the gloves. This seemed to ignite l’Orange and a 10 minute spell of vintage PB saw Wilson rattle the post after some neat passing out wide but his seemingly goal bound shot did nothing more than almost bring the goal down rather than break the net.

At half time despite being 1 down and losing our number 1 we still believed that we could turn things round but this optimism was soon carrying a blemish. When the simple thing would have been to roll the ball to the man he was facing Adam Bird had a rush of blood to his head and tried to turn his man with his back to goal. Unfortunately for Bird the full back read it like an Eastenders plot and stole the ball from under his toes proceeding to run the full length of the pitch and into an ‘only one winner’ one on one with Rob Cooper who could do nothing to prevent the ball being slid past him. At 2-0 Black visibly looked irked and threw everything at Oxford. Chance after chance went begging and you could hear the murmurs of “its gonna be one of those days” whisper round the side. Just when you thought we couldn’t buy a goal an in swinging Max Wall corner caught everyone asleep as an unmarked and surprised Simon Durrant was struck on the head by the ball seeing it end up in the back of the net. Game on. PB had somehow wriggled out of a full nelson and now had Oxford sweating in their jocks as Potblack looked the more likely to score. Adam Bird was released through one on one only for his shot to be pulled just wide, Wilson likewise created by his own chance through sheer determination but his left footed shot was easily picked up by the keeper. As PB pushed on gaps appeared at the back but butter hands Cooper was on hand to collect ‘most’ things thrown at him... excluding the catchable corner he limp wristedly flapped at, how that missed every Oxford player I don’t know, and it was at this point we began to think “is our luck changing?” No, a killer blow was dealt by the noticeably bulked up Gareth Wright whose neat finish might, on another day have been met by PB’s number one resulting in a different outcome? Who knows, but credit goes to the boys in white ish pink who have like us last season outperformed in a league that is usually so predictable.

As the game fizzled out worthy mentions must go to Jim Harvey who ran himself into the ground even when we had our backs to the wall, Simon Durrant who tried to turn things round with his unexpected header and Ross Jones who came through his first 90 minutes, with cramp only once, in an orange shirt this side of 2000.

Goals- Simon Durrant

G&H Windows & Doors m.o.m- Jim Harvey, Credit goes to those who never give up, even when we’re in the trenches.

Pot Black 'rocked' by Injury!

2010-04-21T14:12:00.003+01:00

With awful injuries bestowed on Pot Black already this year with Steven Foulkes and Vinny Terry awaiting surgery, L'Orange Legend Kev Sherwood has joined that list after last nights match.

Sherwood berated by his opponents who assumed he was faining injury after 10 minutes of last nights match against Oxford Arms, yet in truth after jumping for a ball, what we can only imagine was an awkward landing has left Kev with a serious injury.

Kev (pictured left) who was seen at J.P.H today has torn both his knee cartilage, ligaments, and will be returning to the fracture clinic as their appears to be bone floating around the knee.

Sherwood who has made over 170 appearances for Pot Black scoring 24 goals in the process sees his frustrating and disappointing season ended painfully.

All the lads wish L'Orange Icon Kev a speedy recovery.

March Goal of The Month

2010-04-21T14:05:00.004+01:00

Despite all the contestants arguments that it shouldn't count as didn't even know where it was going!

Adam Bird has done again, and in my opinion it was a real cracker, as the gem of his 5 minute 4 goal spree was smashed home hitting both posts on its way!

1st- Adam Bird Vs Wrentham 50%
2nd- Gav Hunt Vs Seltic 30%
3rd- Darren Boyd Vs Caxton 20%

Well done Birdy, we know you can do it, so best you start believing it too!

(As for the picture, it has no relevance but amused me anyway!)

L'Orange humbled by New Champs

2010-04-21T13:30:00.003+01:00

Lowestoft & District Div 1- 18/04/10

Pot Black F.C- 1

Norton Athletic- 4

Match Overview- Despite a two match revival which saw the outcome of the league decided by the team in Orange, it was ironic that P.B now faced the side they'd done so much to help, as newly crowned champions Norton visited Costa Del Lowestoft for a match that would prove little more than a formality.

Pot Black's ranks were visibly depleted as they started with a bare 11 and some unfamiliar faces in their ranks. Mark Lansdale (pictured above) started at centre half after some solid appearances off the bench in recent weeks, Neil Banks and Keith Doddington right midfield and striker made their first appearances in Orange since October last year, with fitness showing as Banks received oxygen at the interval.

As in previous weeks the home side started strongly as they dominated possession with Simon Durrant and a still hobbling Max Wall from the H.O.O clash were tormentors in chief as they continually burst from midfield but failed to find the finishing touch.

Like the three kings following the north star this season P.B continue to offer bloody gifts, as Norton's only two chances of an Orange first 45 minutes were handed on a late as firstly as a simple corner found a Norton player totally unmarked at the back post to nod home, and secondly a bumbled pair of one twos between Messrs Laws and D Boyd, saw Lawsey miss cue his clearance to the Norton striker who comfortably beat Keeper Kev Sherwood.

At half time Pot Black were rightly annoyed that at half time a mixed Orange XI were some how losing to a side who did not look worthy of a league title, but in the second half despite their frailties in defence looked a more threatening beast in the second half as Green and T. Hudson (in particular) showed their class as quick goal finished the match as a contest as Pot Black only real goal left is to limp past the finish line in order to rebuild in the summer.

Norton made it four before Pot Black could send their late arrival into the action Adam Bird who did his usual against one of his favourite two opponents as he got his name on the score sheet when a massive Kev Sherwood saw Bird flick his header direct into the net.

The final result was in truth a fair one but had Norton had our chances in the first 45, they would of been out of site by the break, so the positive is we are, creating opportunities and with a more readily available squad, increased focus and drive next season we have not got much ground to gain.

Goals- Adam Bird

G.H.Windows M.O.M- Mark Lansdale, despite an excellent first half from his brother-in-law Simon Durrant running him close, Lansy was confident and foot sure throughout as he failed to lose a header all match, and his general reading of the game a credit to his ability.

They Don't Like It Up'em!

2010-04-14T15:04:00.003+01:00

Lowestoft & District Div 1- 13/04/10

Pot Black F.C- 1

Hearts of Oak- 0

Match Overview- Sometimes, when you least expect it you get something you just didn’t think you’d get. It’s like when you go to Mcdonalds and you open up your bag after rushing through the drive through to find that the retards in the baseball cap have given you someone else’s bag and its full of burgers, nuggets, and chips when all you were after was a cheeseburger and small fries, or when you pull a lass only to get her home and find she has a cock... possibly not so pleasing.

When we stared down the barrel of the gun and saw that our next two games included the of that time league leaders along with last year’s champions the chick with a dick wouldn’t have been too bad as we didn’t expect much. Well screw me like a dirty prostitute, we’ve only gone and got us 6 points from the two games!
I was going to say this result is like David bringing down Goliath but that isn’t fair, Hearts have had a crap season and they are far from the Goliath they have been in the past and we are no shy retiring David, it was more two teams with a lot of history only this time the history books had a new chapter... PB 1 Hearts of Oak nil.

The game started with Hearts as usual coming out of the blocks at a fast pace, strong into every tackle and quick to charge the PB players down giving l’orange very little time on the ball. On several occasions Hearts were slightly over zealous in their ambition and it was there ambition that slightly outweighed their ability as challenges changed from strong to reckless. Max Wall saw the worst of the bunch as the red and whites frustration boiled over; his quick feet saw him shimmy out of trouble only to have a pointless tackle round his knees. The ref deemed it a foul and pulled the play back but after a quick “you’re a very naughty boy” the hearts player walked away with no caution. I can only assume the ref forgot to sharpen his pencil or Suffolk FA’s monthly quota for cautions had been reached with the two sending’s off from last week?!

Hearts continued with the lion’s share of the possession but the back line of Sherwood, Sterry, Laws, and the Boyds stood strong and matched every attack like there life depended on it. Kirk ‘the poet’ Gowing proved to be tricky starting his runs out wide and arriving late collecting the ball from all across the front line but to our amazement the instructions from the bench were “play closer to Johnny” ... cheers gaf, made our job a whole load easier. A scrappy 45minutes played out with neither side have any real clear cut chances but with every passing minute the boys in orange grew in confidence and we started to believe that there was something in it for us.

The second half started with a renewed enthusiasm from PB. Chances started to appear and the middle pairing of Max Wall and Simon Durrant started to have more of the ball. This played into our hands as the centre pairing started to release Bird and Harvey down the wings exposing the 3-5-2 that Hearts had opted for. The mercurial Durrant was causing more problems as he broke into the box as Max Wall soldiered on after braking a nail in the earlier challenge.

The balance swung in favour of PB and a swirling Durrant free kick into the box saw Adam Bird defy the laws of gravity leaping above everyone to flick it on and a seemingly goal bound header was alleged to have beeen cleared off the line. 60% of the pitch, PB players and those within Hearts honest enough to admit it, thought the ball had crossed the line but the ref held up his hands and declared “he couldn’t see it, so he couldn’t give it” and let’s be honest, ‘Beech’s’ prodigy running the line would have never have given us that. By this point it was clear the game was going to be won with a cheap kidney punch of a goal and those with the most guts, determination and stamina would win the day.

Years of disappointment, resentment, and aggression saw PB push on and take the ascendance in the final 25 minutes and when another Targer free kick was deftly flicked on Darren “ton head” Laws we all held our breath as the hapless Hearts keeper could do nowt to prevent the ball from dropping into the bottom corner. Like an aggravated wasps nest Orange shirts ran around with sheer jubilation and delight, I almost shit myself and contemplated tonguing Norman Boyd as he celebrated like he’d won at bingo on one of his saga holidays but there was still more of the game to play.

We defended from the front and every player on the pitch gave there all, Hearts threw everything at us and brought on extra strikers who added nothing more than a sly Glaswegian kiss to Adam Bird when the ref had his back turned. Stupid boy, anyone who knows Birdy knows that feeble attempt at taking him out was pointless, his head is full of rocks and you’d be better off removing the fruity from the club if you wanna hurt him.

As time went on Hearts threw more men forward but by now PB had built a Berlin wall at the back and nothing was getting through without ze’papers. Durrant looked to seal the game in the death as he was released clean through to go one on one but the keeper to his credit made himself look big and managed to stop him in his tracks as Targer fluffed his attempt to slide it past him. Max Wall retired early with bad hair and the lively Jordan Wardrope replaced him looking sharp despite having six month off with Malaria. Rob Cooper made bail and came on late with Will Denton replacing Ian Wilson and Adam Bird so in some way every person in the squad contributed to an excellent team result. Hearts may argue they had no recognised keeper and were without star player Zac Coleman but we were missing a handful of players who all have featured in the team this year. More importantly we were missing 2 studs, some hair gel and a spare pair of pants, oh and we were also without our talisman and gay icon of a manager Danny ‘Barry Gibb’ Mckinely (pictured above).

What next? Norton this Saturday and if I was them I’d be looking over my shoulder thinking “I don’t fancy playing these lot right now” and rightly so we have toppled the best so bring em on.

Goals- Darren Laws

G & H Windows and Doors M.O.M- I think this can sometimes be a copout but on this occasion everyone played a part and you can’t fault anyone so well done, a team m.o.m!!

Waveney Title Chances Blown Away!!!

2010-04-10T17:53:00.005+01:00

Lowestoft & District Division 1- 10/04/10

Waveney Res F.C- 1

Pot Black F.C- 2

Match Overview- Pot Black who currently find themselves languishing in the bottom half of the table, faced their annual rivals for the first time this season and as expected it was a 'flag Up Zone' against the 'TITLE CHASING HOME SIDE'!!!!

The home side who boast arguably the best strike force in the division where kept contained from the outset with the side in Gold seeing their ONE SHOT OF THE HALF fly over the bar before the interval.

Pot Black in their change strip of royal blue looked extremely comfortable in possession and even more so when they had not, with the excellent Gary Boyd & Steve Collins stopping for a quick pipe, brandy and game of bridge mid half!

After a couple of niggling challenges on the dangerous looking Simon Durrant, the referee produced a red card after a clumsy flailing arm was unbelievably judge to of been with malice, which from anyone who has played with with him will know is ridiculous as Targa made his way to the changing rooms with only 20 minutes on the clock, and the player who had been dry humping his leg prior to the incident, received a yellow card after picking up his invisible teeth off the pitch as he rolled 5 times.

Feeling cheated (a feeling they would become accustomed to for the next 70 minutes) by the removal of a great asset, and as result a fire was stoked in the belly's of L'Bleu, no more so than in that of inform striker Gav Hunt who created something out of nothing as firstly he chased down two defenders tackling and robbing the second and lifting it over the isolated keeper, 1-0 DESPITE THE ONE MAN DISADVANTAGE!

The one way traffic continued as this time Scott 'Jimmy' Harvey burst into the box closing down the nervous keeper who dropped the ball as Jimmy put his body between ball and player he was wrestled into a half-nelson which went unpunished but the resulting Suplex drew the whilst and a red card for the usually fantastic Nollath wearing the No.1 shirt.

With minutes of the half remaining and the sides both down to 10, Captain Darren Boyd faced former Ashlea Keeper Scott Jermey, as has placed the ball home with easy for a well deserved increased lead.

The half time message was 'keep it tight, frustrate, and in order to stay on side, stand behind no less than 6 of their players!'

Too be fair to the Waveney players, the lads in gold began to enjoy a little more of the ball as they committed men forward, but the threat of the counter was always evident as Collins, Boyd, Laws and G.Boyd looked strong at the back.

Ross Jones replaced Paul Taylor in the centre of the pitch and Manager Danny McKinley went on for Adam Bird on the right with 15 minutes to play moments after Gav Hunt produced an audacious chip which hit the bar.

As their lack of opportunities became infuriating for the home side their petulance and whines increased.

With time running out Danny McKinley should have gave his side a third he was unable to gather a beautiful Darren Boyd Free kick as the Waveney keeper mopped up and sent his goal kick the length of the pitch which was not dealt with as the impressive Hunter pulled away before slotting home.

With only injury time remaining Danny McKinley's message to waste time was observed but not only by the Pot Black players as the opposition lines man threw away his morals and dignity as a human being, as he said loud enough to hear "Oh F*** It" before raising his flag as Scott Harvey looked to break into the space behind the 3 DEFENDERS IN FRONT OF HIM!!!! In the resulting melay the linesman unlawfully entered the field of play to confront the player who had questioned the decision gracefully was greeted with.... "Come on then! Come on then! I'm going to get you sent off for swearing at me!" before loosing his mind and headbutting the pot black man who was savagely felled to the ground.

The referee saw neither incident which is to be expected from a distance, but upheld the wrongful free kick for the cowardly offside, but the dispute had gratefully eaten all the time and the whistle went before the ball touched the ground from the dead ball position. In your face.

They had everything to lose after a brilliant season on the pitch, but were undone by a side fed on raw meat!!!!! GET IN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goals- Gav Hunt & Darren Boyd (pen)

G.H.Windows & Doors M.O.M- The Whole Team, as today we were as one!!!

Highs & Lows Continue!!!

2010-04-06T11:11:00.004+01:00

Lowestoft & District Div 1- 03/04/10

Blundeston Magpies- 2

Pot Black F.C- 1

Match Overview- Pot Black like all the other sides knew this would be a tough weekend with two matches in three days but unfortunately just like the rest of the seasons it was yet another roller coaster ride.

Magpies from the off looked young keen and hungry but like the previous match against Spexhall they were made to work hard for possession as Pot Black sprayed the ball around.

In truth in the first half was an even encounter with neither side able to truly trouble either keeper, with the only incidents of note coming as a surprise in a match that saw no bad challenges or any malice. As firstly a Magpies player was tackled by both Max Wall and Rob Sterry (pictured left) who was left with a ruptured medial knee ligament after his right became sandwiched between the Magpie and the full weight of Max Wall. Secondly the Magpies centre back fell after a header and dislocated shoulder.

Unfortunately Pot Black started the second half much like they have many games of late, very slowly. Magpies were given an early head start after Scott Harvey gifted them a penalty as a he clipped a man running out of the box to retrieve the ball, which was dispatched passed the out stretched legs of Kev Sherwood.

Shortly after the black & whites were two nil up after a break down the left saw the ball crossed low, hard and on a plate to smashed home.

With 15 minutes left Pot Black who now looked a different side in a converted 3-5-2 formation had the home side pegged back with Captain Max Wall in the absence of Darren Boyd, pulled one back as he cracked the ball into the top corner from a tight angle.

With 8 minutes left on the clock a free kick saw Sherwood join his teammates in the box as the nervous home side failed to deal with the extra man as the ball found Darren Laws at the back post only to see his effort fire painfully over the bar!

Goals- Max Wall

G.H.Windows & Doors M.O.M- Steve Collins, a composed performance as he quietly went about his business in a positive display.

Lowestoft & District Div 1- 05/04/10

Pot Black F.C- 6

Beccles Caxton 1st 7 + 4 res- 3

Match Overview- P.B brought 4 players into the starting line-up in the absence of Sterry, Rose, Collins and Taylor, with able replacements Le Compte, Wilson, Hunt and D. Boyd coming in. On arrival, news that Caxton first team had no game and all but two of the away side having played against L'Orange in the previous encounter last month, and the fact that the reserve team manager was not even there, left Pot Black suspicious about their opponents authenticity.

Pot Black started with a positive 3-5-2 formation keen to create more than in their previous 1-0 scraped victory last month. The Durrant, Wall, Le Compte, Bird and Harvey midfield looked very comfortable and domineering in possession but it was Caxton who struck the first blow as their pacey striker lifted his one on one over keeper Kevin Sherwood.

A moment of brilliance saw the team in Orange back level as Ian Wilson's audacious swivel and lob caught everyone off guard for 1-1. Fired up by the goal P.B went on the rampage as Adam Bird was cynically scythed down in the box only for Referee David Banks to award a free kick on the edge and no card awarded. The resulting free kick was fired by the lively Simon Durrant who saw his goal bound effort catch a defender and ricochet into the other side of the goal past the hapless keeper.

Almost immediately Caxton were level as Pot Black gifted yet another goal as Kev Sherwood and his team mates failed to deal with a free kick which was met with a soft header on the goal line.

Pot Black now at last managed two things to tighten things at the back and turn their possession into goals as Gav Hunt finished a fantastic move which saw him combine with Ian Wilson after a whipped Darren Boyd Cross was eventually fired down the centre of the Caxton goal.

Goal number 4 was a piece of sheer inspiration after Durrant and Wall combined when a high cross was chested up in the centre of the 18 yard box and volleyed home by Hunt once again finding the top corner a goal as good as he'll ever score!

After the interval spirits were high and Darren Boyd was replaced at the back by Mark Lansdale.

The best team goal of the game came as Kev Sherwood set the ball rolling as a quality combination of team passing saw Adam Bird trick the defenders down the left as a glorious cross saw the rampaging Scott Harvey meet the ball unmarked at the back post with a bullet header 5-2.

Caxton however had a little left in the tank as the managed one more reply as a their idiot midfield man hit a thunder bolt which at full stretch Kev Sherwood could only parry before seeing the rebound tucked in by the Caxton winger.

Will Denton now made another appearance at the expense of Adam Bird as P.B shuffled to a 4-4-2 as a move involving Denton and Wilson, saw Wilsons effort palmed onto the post before Gav Hunt bagged his hat-trick as he fired home from a tight angle.

Tempers were now frayed by several moments of stupidity by the moronic Caxton striker, who first of all punched a P.B defender square in the jaw, from which the attacked player had to physically restrained by 3 team mates as he saw red, as Mr David Banks claimed to of not seen it but booked them both.

Seconds latter the two players came together with the Caxton man leaving his trailing leg high, as Ref Banks awarded a free kick and a last warning! Eager for an early bath the gimp followed this with a late tackle through the back of Max Wall.... "Free kick, seriously this your last warning" says Referee Mr. Banks.

With only seconds left on the clock the same penis, after being out powered in a shoulder to shoulder challenge with Darren Laws, got up and jumped into big Lawsey with both his studs and a elbow raised hitting the L'Orange player as he shepherded the ball out of play. The Ref was forced to consult his linesman after copious flag waving stating "I didn't see it? What did you see?", "He went in with his studs and an elbow!", "I'll deal with it......Free kick, last warning!!!!!" I DON'T THINK I NEED TO SAY WHAT I'M THINKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goals- Ian Wilson, Simon Durrant, Scott Harvey and Gav Hunt x3

G.H.Windows & Doors M.O.M- Gav Hunt and Scott Harvey, despite 3 good goals and his all round play, Scott Harvey sheer work rate and ground covered left me unable to pick between them!

M'Uggs!!!

2010-04-06T11:02:00.003+01:00

I reported to you, on his return from Oz that Rob 'The Retard' Sterry had managed to do the impossible and has gone up a camp rating! After I caught a glimps of his latest fashion item.... No not his Fendi manbag that was last year!

He is now officially the first male in the UK to think its okay to were M'Uggs (the actual pair are pictured left), even though Jean Paul Gautier didn't have the bottle!

Rob, now I know you're going to get stick but be strong and ignore those mean boys, but seriously loose the leggings!!!!

Pot Black Poker Night 2010

2010-04-06T10:37:00.003+01:00

Last month L'Orange had an extremely successful Poker Night at P.B.H.Q, which drew in the high rollers and the amatuers alike.

Two table were set up by pit boss Mick ' Full House' Wall to cover the wide range of experience and ability on show.

Two obvious over mistakes were firstly big Darren 'All In' Laws who was soon taken to the cleaners on the pro's table, then was quickly taught a lesson on the amatuers table.

Secondly by Walley Snr who never realised how long Vic, Rob, Martel and Emma could drag out a game on the amatuer table as they managed to break the 2 hour mark twice.

To see pictures from the big Poker Night click the link below.

http://pbfcpoker2010.blogspot.com/2010/04/texas-holdem-pbhq-march-2010.html

A light in the darkness!

2010-03-29T14:24:00.005+01:00

This season has been extremely tough for all involved with Pot Black this season for many different reasons weather through serious injury, family commitments, or lack of form. But there is an old prophesy that has helped me throughout our toil....

One night a man had a dream. He dreamed he was walking along the beach with god. Across the dark sky flashed scenes from his life.
For each scene, he noticed two sets of footprints in the sand,one belonging to him and the other to god.

When the last scene of his life flashed before him,he looked back at the footprints in the sand. He noticed that many times along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.

This bothered him and he questioned god about it."God, you said that once I decided to follow you, you'd walk with me all the way. But I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints.

I don't understand why when I needed you most you would leave me."God replied "My precious, precious child,I love you and would never leave you. During your times of trial and suffering,when you see only one set of footprints in the sand, it was then that I carried you."

Now you may not realise but there is someone very similar looking over you!

http://en.tackfilm.se/?id=1269868170343RA65
(click link above)

Viva L'Orange.

Slap, Slap, Slap!

2010-03-28T09:33:00.006+01:00

Lowestoft & District League Div 1

Spexhall F.C- 3

Pot Black F.C- 1

Match Overview- The Spexhall manager and defence must of been delighted to see that their nemesis Adam Bird was not in the match day squad on the visitors arrival, after proving the match winner on so many occasions in the past.

As a result of absences L'Orange were forced to adapt a 4-5-1 formation against the high flying Spexhall side with only 1 attacker available.

Despite the final score it was by no means one way traffic with Pot Black coming out of the blocks like Usain Bolt completely dominating the opening 20 minutes with Spex looking shocked by the opposition work rate and commitment.

On several occasion Scott Harvey broke down the right but L'Orange were unable to turn capitalise. Steve Collins well timed run was picked out by a beautiful Simon Durrant pass, only to see the last man clearly pull 'The Crabs' shirt as he raced towards the keeper, which the ref penalised with a free kick and no card, had the Pot Black midfielder gone down, I can not see how he could of done anything other than reduce the home side to 10.

Both Keepers before the break pulled of top quality stops, but in truth Spex only managed a couple of breaks with the dangerous looking Karl Brennhan chief tormentor, but with Pot Black having the larger portion of the possession the visitors rightly took the lead as Max Wall slipped his marker only to be wiped out as he attempted to pull the trigger, as Captain/Midfield Anchorman Darren Boyd perfectly struck the resulting penalty into the bottom corner. 1-0 at the break.

After the interval P.B were to be punished for their missed opportunities and lack decisiveness, as near enough from the whistle a break down the left caught out the sleepy oranges as the navy blues equalised, and before the home support could wobble back from the pub their side were in front with a top class finish which was smashed past the helpless Kev Sherwood in goal.

The best was saved til last from any ones point of view as the slightly quieter than usual Danny Milne rose like a salmon seeing his powerful looping header nestle in the top corner.

Ironically from that point the Pot Black back line looked secure once more as the home side rarely troubled again, but it was always going to be a struggle for the visitors who in Vinny Terry and Adam Bird had most of their fire power missing.

As the match went on frustrations boiled over and P.B began mirroring the niggly tackles displayed by the home side in the early encounters of the match (such as Milne kicking the keeper in the legs whilst he had the ball in hands at head height), but the bigger picture is there was not a bad tackle all match, but when two physical sides meet with 6 foot strikers and defenders on both sides, like a pair of Elephant seals there will always be clumsy, noisy, slapping encounters but the only real handbags and moaning was from the Pie eaters and goggle eyed people on the side of the pitch who know it all but can't do it themselves! The real men do it with their boots on, like the two Gavin's, one on each side!

On the day without a doubt the best side won, but for the visitors after a season of negatives, Pot Black are forced to pick out the positives, In the first half P.B looked solid and for once we had 3 substitutes, but more importantly we look to have a returned unity, as even when we were wound up and fouling at least we all did it together!

Goal- Darren Boyd

G.H.Windows & Doors M.O.M- Steve Collins, a positive performance as he quietly went about his business tackling with confidence and playing it simple.

Go'go'going for Gold!

2010-03-25T18:14:00.004Z

Pot Black Nights Out are like buses... Ya wait ages for one and two come along at once (Watch this space for the next installment of W.F.T.R re-poker night).

If you haven't already been informed by Sterry, our team mate Anthony 'Beautiful Brown Sugar' Ogogo not only looks good in mincy mags and sports catalogues but is also pretty handy in the ring.

He has just successfully made is way into 'The British A.B.A Quarter Finals' which takes place on the 10th April, and for the first time in 5 years sees Ant fighting locally. As a result Ant has put aside some tickets for his brothers in arms P.B.F.C.

If you are interest which I sure you will be after overwhelming interest thus far, text Rob asap, and bring £12 cash to footie on Saturday as he'll be buying them on Sunday, once they're gone, they're gone, and you'll be the one moaning that you weren't leading Anthony out to the ring like Ross in a cape and 'Nacho libre' mask.... you have been warned!

Anthony 'B.B.S' Ogogo Vs Wilfred 'Catweazel' Sidebottom
A.B.A Quarter Final
@ The Ocean Room
10th April 2010
Doors open at 9pm
(Bus to be ordered when numbers confirmed)

Feb Goal of the Month

2010-03-24T13:17:00.003Z

I've already had a secession of angry phone calls from the other candidates and fans a like, stating comments such as, "It's not bloody fair, they're like the Waltons!!".

But unfortunately its a free world and as long as the Boyd clan have Internet access its an uphill battle, unless one of you can talk an island about the size of Cuba to back you in which case I'd say its 50/50.

Captain Darren is lifting his first G.o.t.M comp title, after he smashed a top corner screamer in during our ill fated match against Ole Frank, as he played in an unfamiliar role up front.

1st- Darren Boyd Vs Ole Frank 42%
2nd- Max Wall Vs Barsham 35%
3rd- Kev Sherwood Vs Seltic 14%

Well done Darren it was a great finish!

3 in 4 as Wrentham shown 'The Bird'!!!

2010-03-22T11:50:00.004Z

Lowestoft & District Div 1- 20/03/10

Wrentham & Mutford- 0

Pot Black FC- 5

Match Overview- After months of cancelled matches, under achievement, two things appear to be happening for L'Orange at the moment. Firstly they have now managed a run of more than two consecutive matches without a week off, and secondly and more importantly the smile is back on a few faces.

The day started with the organisation that only a 'Rob Sterry' holiday could rival with everyone wondering where people had got too?

Meeting time and place was arranged for HomeBase at 1.30pm.... Unfortunately Gary Boyd was still in bed after a night shift, after his Manager failed to let him know he was needed, Birdy was being forcibly removed by Laws and Wall after getting his hand stuck in a fruit machine at P.B.H.Q.

Most amusing of all was Scott Harvey who when called at 1.40pm said "sorry I'm late, I'm now coming round the corner, I'm now walking in the door!" THE PHONE HANGS UP!.... two minutes later he calls back... "Where are ya?", "Homebase!" says I, "Which changing room", "What? I don't understand, Homebase in Pakefield" says I, "Oh shit, I thought you meant Home base as in Home pitch..... I'll meet you there!!!!" CLASSIC!

Pot Black knew after their last outing against the White and Greens, that there physical approach had left them bitter and angry by the poor performance in December, and after revenging one bad performance last week they were keen to repeat the feat this Saturday.

The Playing surface was rather unusual with the combination of moss and mud replacing all the grass, but to be fair both sides were faced with that obstacle. Max Wall wore the Captains armband in the absence of Darren Boyd, with Stu Canham filling in for his other duties at the back.

The first half was a forgettable half of football with both sides making the beautiful game ugly with the only highlight of note was when Scott Harvey saw a header graze the bar after a pin point Simon Durrant cross left the back four and keeper stranded.

The half time dressing down consisted of "Up your game, get one and gates will open!" never a truer word spoken.

Gav Hunt scored the goal that did the damage after 5 minutes of the second half, when his grit and persistence after chasing down the last defender who played the ball back to his keeper who in turn was out tackled by Hunt who rolled the ball home leaving the embarrassed keeper in his wake.

Max Wall found the extra gears and the inspiration now but it was Adam Bird who would steal the show as he bagged a four minute hat trick as the homeside saw this fixture spiral out of their control, firstly he smashed an effort of one post across goal and into the opposite side netting. Next came Maisey run and a bottom corner smash for 3-0. Wrentham last the ball from the kick off immediately as Max Wall and Adam Bird one two combos up the pitch saw Bird find the same bottom corner past the full length keeper for his trick.

Richi Reeder (whose actual first contribution was standing on the ball and falling over!!!Brilliant!), Rob Sterry and Gary Boyd were introduced and their first job was to watch Adam Bird pick up his forth as he meet a Max Wall corner at the front post as his header went in off the crossbar crossing the line despite Darren Laws contesting he got the final touch with angry pleas to the referee and manager as he saw his team mate pull clear in their 'Gauntlet competition'.

Despite the fact that Wrentham have struggled this season and lie dangerously close to relegation, the result on the day was more important than 3 points and 5 goals for Pot Black it was the day L'Orange got their smiles back!!!!!

Goals- Gav Hunt and Adam Bird x4

G.H.Windows & Doors M.O.M- Adam Bird, despite the fact he had mare in the 1st half, and Max Wall and Stu Canham were great, his second half finishes were all breath taking! Well done mate!

"Sorry Sailors He's left Port For Good!"

2010-03-16T16:20:00.003Z

Dale Winton has been locked in his bedroom since Saturday, Boy George has had a gimp mask on since he heard the news to hide his tears, and as for 'The Village People' its black armbands all round!

For those who did not already know last Saturday was a great for us as we conquered seltic 5-0, but it will go down in history for something more shocking..... Rob 'The Retard' Sterry asked his long suffering girlfriend Martel to marry him in Paris!

Yes I know you're thinking the two exact things I did... 1) She's too good for him! and 2) Now we know who put the gay in Paris!!!!!

That a side all at Pot Black would like to wish them a life time of happiness (apart from Steve and Ross who think you're a quitter, Rob!) and separately congratulate Rob for punching well above his weight and Martel for confirming her role as a care worker in a full time capacity.

So Rob whens the big day?

Viva L'Orange.

This Saturday Night, Don't Miss Out!!!

2010-03-16T16:03:00.002Z

(click on poster to enlarge)

Revenge is sweet!!!

2010-03-15T16:07:00.004Z

Lowestoft & District Div 1 13-03-10

Corton White Horse Seltic- 0

Pot Black F.C- 5

Match Overview- After a solid performance the week before, the visitors were keen to make amens for there last meeting against Seltic, a match in which as manager Danny McKinley said "...We were not beaten by them, we gave it to them!" after letting a 3-1 victory slip to lose 6-3.

The side was all change as usual with Bird, Rose, Collins and Laws returning, but the arrogance and over confidence displayed by some of the village idiots on the side line was not matched by that of their players, who soon saw themselves 1-0 after Gav Hunt brilliantly placed his shot inside the post after a defensive gaff.

At this point Seltic were still in with a shot but for their dreadful finishing, but a second before the break P.B soon muffled the supporters constant whinging, as Simon Durrant latched onto a great ball cut back from the byline by Scott Harvey.

In the second half the home side rallied but Scott Harvey killed off any reply as he smashed the ball home to complete an excellent move.

Seltics men held the white flag high as Pot Black charged forward, with Simon Durrant making it 4 as he rounded the keeper for his brace.

The route was soon completed as Scott Harvey popped up once again to make two for the day, but he soon nearly bagged his hat trick moments later if not for a brave save by the seltic keeper.

In truth, had the finishing on both sides been better the score would have been 12-5 but on the day the best side won, and revenge is sweet!!!

Goals- Gav Hunt, Scott Harvey x2, and Simon Durrant x2.

G.H.Windows & Doors- Max Wall, the unsung hero of the match who was immense all over the pitch, was given a close run by all the goal scorers who worked hard all match.

Pot Black Boyd by last gasp winner!

2010-03-15T15:43:00.004Z

Lowestoft & District Div 1 06-03-10

Beccles Caxton Res- 0

Pot Black FC- 1

Match Overview- With L'Orange shockingly having called of their previous match away at Barsham, oddly enough this week Pot Black found themselves on Beef Meadow facing a strong looking Caxton side with the Beccles sides first team having a week off with 'Hearts of Oak' summer target Kevin Riches starring.

The visitors were thin in numbers once again but in the absence of Adam Bird and Darren Laws a situation which would normally be a nightmare, Pot Black were blessed with the presence of Ian Wilson and Stu Canham.

The visitors on the day had turned out what has to be their oldest side with the average age of over 30, for the first time in a while looked reassured at the back and more importantly looked to be enjoying themselves before, during and after the game.

In truth the match was a midfield squabble with Kev Sherwood not being forced into a save all day, but the Caxton indecisiveness in front of goal was matched by Pot Blacks with Gav Hunt, Simon Durrant and Ian Wilson all going close.

Although in the dying moments Max Wall picked the ball up in his own half riding two fouls on his way to goal, before finally being brought down on the third attempt in the box.

Darren Boyd keen to make it 3 goals in 3 games, stepped up to the spot to fire home and snatching all 3 points for his side.

Goals- Darren boyd (pen)

G.H.Windows & Doors M.O.M- Stu Canham, a rock at the back and never put a foot wrong.

Time to stand up and be counted!!!

2010-03-02T16:47:00.003Z

Last week for me was somewhat devastating, not because I was a having to deal with back to back defeats against sides who a year ago we would of dispatched with there tails between their legs, but because on Friday I had the shocking realisation I was struggling to put together a side for the following afternoon.

Despite our massive squad I was faced with a combination of injuries, sickness, holidays, non explanations for unavailability, and in several cases no reply at all.

Despite my best efforts for the first time in what must be nearly 5 years we were beaten and gave the 3 points to the opponents on the Barsham without kicking a ball.

I know our Captain Boydie was gutted as he was keen to play with 7 men (including Max Wall who had Flu), while Rob was so enraged he spent the afternoon Buddhist chanting.

I Know I'm making light of it, but its really because I'm so disheartened. Lets face it, we know that we over performed last year but when you thing about it, what made it such a great year was the camaraderie and everyone getting involved having fun, being committed and attending!

Nights out were being requested by players! summer days out were a big occasion, as for the Holiday with 22 people attending, it speaks for itself.

Yet where are we now? The last night out we practically had to force people through the door, with players say "I'm not going cos 'so & so' isn't going!" But as I explained because every ones saying the same is why we have a problem. As for the Holiday Rob's only had 4 replies, people haven't even bothered to say they can make it, despite how much everyone has previously said they've been fantastic!

Laziness? Selfishness? Cowardliness?

I don't know what your reasons are for lack of commitment? But when you're bottling a match or missing a social event you're letting your mates down and the club you once claimed you loved and were proud to be a part of, with excuses like I'm not enjoying my football and I've lost interested.

I know its been a stop start season (which when you look at the two biggest casualties us and Hearts having played less than everyone suffering with there form) and I said this about the Sunday side before the cowards and idiots, let the side melt into nothing despite the work of Daisy and the hardcore players.

Now Just think, everyone who plays for this side says how great it is, Gary Boyd said last year the two times he'd enjoyed his football in his long career is with the mighty trowel and here at Pot Black. Also do you think you'll see your teammates regularly if we fold? weekends away? No boys that's it!!!! Let this team fold, and that is it! It might be nice now on a Saturday picking out new TV's for your new house etc but what about when in a years time, when she's crazing your tits saying board the loft out or paint the shed, and you can't even pop down the club to escape because your mates won't be there!

I assure you lads let this go and you'll always regret it! Now suck it up, get some bottle back, and more importantly stick together!

Words from the Retard 23-02-10

2010-02-23T15:05:00.004Z

I don’t know how anyone else felt Saturday night but I felt a lot like Michael Jackson’s Dr, I had good intentions as I walked out on the field for the second half but things went badly wrong and before I knew it it was too late. Unlike Michael Jackson’s Dr there is no denying our cock up, we only have ourselves to blame.

It’s difficult to pin point where things went so wrong, in fact there probably isn’t enough pins to point even I wanted too. Unlike Darren, Gary doesn’t say a lot and as a result what he does say is often worth listening to! He summed it up perfectly after the game by saying "take a look at yourselves and ask is there anything more you could have done?" With that in mind I think it’s our obligation to do the one thing that is within our capability, something that we can personally do to make a difference.

There is a giant treadmill just outside your door and there are no excuses for not putting some running in. It sounds so obvious but being fit massively effects your game, Its up to you, we can continue to plod on through the season scraping victories and struggling when it counts or we can put a bit of effort in and reap the benefits of being in the best condition possible. Admittedly its not all down to fitness, I expect Paula Radcliff is shit at football but if you are fit it optimises your chances on the pitch so stick your runners on and put in a couple of half hour runs during the week, its really not that hard!

Its not all doom and gloom, with every cloud there is a silver lining, today I received a txt from the Messiah Mick Wall giving the go ahead for the PBFC poker night.. .. the man from PB, he say yes! I briefly mentioned what this night will involve but to recap;

Saturday the 20th March is PBFC poker night. This is a poker night for all levels of poker players, doesn’t matter if like me you have never played. We will be playing ‘Texas Hold em poker rules, what that means I have no idea but I am assured members of the Potblack Gamblers committee will be on hand to walk us through the rules and how to loose our money. Apparently it involves a pre flop, a flop and a river which if you ask me sounds like some sort of kinky sex game with Ross Jones involving water sports after consuming 10 pints of ale! All players signed on for Potblack are eligible – that does include those signed on for the now deceased Sunday side, however, you will not be allowed to play if you don’t have the PBFC poker attire, comedy wig and glasses!

Yep, you might be signed on, you might have some spondees burning a big hole in your pocket but no wig and specs and you don’t play! If your wondering what this might look like take a look at our very own Ross Molby Jones or Mick Wall .. .. That’s how you do it!

The evening will start at 7pm and even if you don’t want to play I suggest you come along and have a few beers as this could be hilarious. A prize will go to the player who can find the most hideous wig and glasses combination! As we have a team full of gamblers and part time alcoholics I expect a good turn out. Cheats, card counters and professionals will have root vegetables inserted into their orifices and whilst masturbating in the toilets will be frowned upon before 10pm its perfectly acceptable after this time. However, I must point out, under no circumstances are glasses allowed round the snooker table, that includes all forms of glasses, pints, half pints, shorts and possibly even sunglasses!!

The management accept no responsibility for the consequences of those stupid enough to show disregard for this rule. I once saw Wally tie someone up, gag them and remove his toe nails with a pair of pliers for placing his drink on the side of a table, enough said.

So get it pencilled in your diary and get saving as our very own ‘Rain Man’, namely moi is out to steal your money from under your very nose!

Pot Black Tour 4 (2010)

2010-02-22T14:24:00.004Z

This statement has been produced by Crab Collins on behalf of the Retard as the only trusted advisor following the tragic mis hap on Dannys stag do.

I accept no liability for the content of this document.

Gentlemen the time has come to dust off the passport and sandals, wax the back sack and crack and grab your vest and speedos on as we take the PB tour bus into the sun. ( * another reason is that this warmer climate means less luggage, minimsing the loss to Robs wardrobe)

After exstensive research, some of which we visited to check that they are suitable for our needs, hence the crabs absence in recent weeks at football we have confirmed the following destination and dates.

Dates are- Thursday 27th May to Sunday 30th May 2010.

The location is- Ibiza.

We have priced many up and we believe for £210/£220 + Venga bus to airport we can get our trip in!we have based costings on 12 so please pay cash of £150 NON REFUNDABLE DEPOSIT to the retard by end of March!

No excuses, no cashy cashy no sunny sunny.

No major credit cards are accepted only cash cash cash or sexual favours.

We would love to see you all there so please cough up the dough and get your name on the list, Rob assures me that if you pay your name will go on the list this time but I will be assisting just to make sure.

Txt your interest to Rob or me and let the good times roll!!!!!

Meltdown

2010-02-22T13:48:00.003Z

Lowestoft & District Division 1- 20/02/10

Pot Black FC- 3

Corton Seltic- 6

Match Overview- 'It's a game of two halves', 'No Shit!'. OK again we were somewhat short with only one sub Manager Danny McKinley an hour before the game, and Kev Sherwood playing in a unfamiliar centre forward position, L'Orange managed to fill one berth with Mark Lansdale making his first appearance of the year.

Obviously the score tells the story of a one sided battering, and in truth it was but surprisingly it was Pot Black dishing out the bashing in the first half. P.B took the lead after Kev Sherwood's snap shot was pawed away before Darren Boyd looped a header onto the bar before his partner in crime Darren Laws pounced to nod home.

Within in seconds of the restart, so delighted with their lead, the home side switched off before Seltic hit back with a outstanding solo goal which to Richi Reeder's credit Edwin Van Der Sar would of been helpless to prevent.

Shortly after L'Orange regained the lead as Scott Harvey was wiped out in the box after a needless challenge as Captain Boyd stepped up to stroke home from the spot.

A great move down the left between Max Wall and Adam Bird, saw Kev Sherwood released in the box as he cleverly shifted his feet to baffle the keeper before passing into the net.

Despite Seltics only shot on goal of the half hitting the net, the one way traffic continued, Adam Bird, Kev Sherwood and Max Wall saw their efforts go un rewarded, but the home sides best attempt came when Steve 'The Crab' Collins saw his long range free kick cannon off the bar.

The message at half time was clear, 'Do not take your foot off the gas! Lets go for goals!......'

MELTDOWN!!!!

A catalogue of errors, lack of communication, and inability to take instructions commenced which saw the home side produce possibly the worst 45 minutes on Pot Black record, as Seltic scored 5 unanswered goals! Too their credit 3 of the finishes were outstanding but could have all been prevented had the home side not gave away the ball.

Despite having two more players turn up during the game, who had been previously listed to the excellent Tony Belsey in the middle as Mark Lansdale, Simon McAlone and Anthony Ogogo were all thrown in as a vain attempt to fight back the 3-4 scoreline. Simon McAlone went closest as his smash from distance which flew back of the post but it was a forlorn hope as Seltic finished the job.

Goals- Darren Laws, Darren Boyd (pen), and Kev Sherwood

G.H.Windows & Doors M.O.M- None.

Not Good Enough!

2010-02-13T18:33:00.008Z

Lowestoft League Div 1 - 13/02/10

Ole Frank- 4

Pot Black FC- 1

Match Overview- Some may see this as a rather shocking result and I guess after L'Orange dispatched their opponents 5-0 earlier in the season, and after a colossal performance against a high flying Barsham side you might be right.

I could easily sit here and moan that we had lots of players missing and we had Adam Bird and Will Denton call off pre-match, that Max Wall got injured in the warm up and lasted only 4 minutes, and that we were so depleted that we started with players out of position up front in winger Scott Harvey and club captain Darren Boyd or that our bench was so unbelievably sparse that Manager Danny McKinley kicked his first football in 6mths, but quite simply that would be unfair to Ole Frank.

On the day the psychical home side were bigger, stronger, braver and most importantly wanted it more. As individuals we had the ability to play around our opponents despite our absences, but we never won our individual battles, the side we put out should have been enough to at the very minimum match Ole Frank but not once did we look like we could.

Ole Frank to their credit were 2-0 up at half time with a great header from Arnie High and an excellently worked moved down the right was tapped in at close range.

After the interval Frank took a little while to increase their advantage, but eventually with a similar move to their second goal.

Pot Blacks only real shot in anger came from a dejected Captain Darren Boyd who found the top corner with a powerful effort.

But L'orange went down with whimper when Ole Franks striker was played onside before a lunging tackle saw Scott Reynolds fire into his own net, which was in fact only inches from being an outstanding recovery tackle.

Obviously annoyed by our poor performance the mood in the dressing room was rightly down beat, but as we proved after our thrashing against Norton, we can and will bounce back, anything less than 100% is unacceptable this week lets not slip up again.

Goal- Darren Boyd

G.H.Windows & Doors M.O.M- Scott Harvey, worked hard through out and never moaned when asked to play in three different positions.

I Don't Believe It!!!

2010-02-13T18:18:00.005Z

Yes I know what you're thinking!!!

Much the same as I did on seeing the result of the latest goal of the month competition.... 'What a Bloody Fix!'

Some how our very own Steve 'The Crab' Collins (pictured right) has managed to win Jan'10 goal of the month.

Since Steve has a career in Banking (Yes I know what you're thinking again... 'There is no bigger Banker!!!) I can only imagine he has had his Identity stolen by scoundrels and tricksters... Who have not only bought 'animal porn' with his clonned credit cards but cleared out his savings, pensions, lock boxes etc, and as a final 'up yours' have fixed our competition, like the people who burgle hotel rooms but leave the owners camera with a picture of the thief with the victim tooth brush up their arse! Its the only answer I can think of!

1st) Steve Collins Vs Suffolk Punch 47%
2nd) Max Wall Vs Suffolk Punch 38%
3rd) Scott Harvey Vs Suffolk Punch 9%

Words from the Retard (better late than never) 13-02-10

2010-02-13T18:14:00.003Z

What a weekend. We win 1-0 against a much improved, strong Barsham side and Waveney bring down the mighty Hearts of Oak. I shouldn’t gloat about the latter but just like any good side that dominate a league, the Man U’s the Chelsea’s you love to see them loose!

I was really impressed with every part of the game Sat. Good Atmosphere, not bitching even when it got real tough and we had our backs against the wall, grinding out a result like that meant we hit Norwich Sat night with a euphoric feeling amongst those involved.

Banksy who braved the cold to watch the victory was so euphoric he mugged a tramp on route to PBHQ and stole his tie. In vain attempt to look cool he chose to pair up the fucking awful tie with a bright red cardigan. Gok Wan would have been frothing at the mouth as this combo was more Honk Couture than Haute Couture. He looked like he had taken style advice from my nan.

You might argue I’m being a little harsh but the frugal fella who would have you believe he was fiscally challenged attempted to go a whole night without any cash on him! When you mention the word tight with Banksy your usually assume we are referring to his afro style barnet but not in this instance, he refused to use any cash point which incurred a charge meaning poor Rosey became his personal sponsor for most of the evening.

As I arrived on the bus to go home I was not in anyway surprised to see Tito Banks sat slumped in his chair with his trousers round his ankles shouting "eat it" to anyone within a foot radius of him. So I think you will agree, he brings it on himself and deserves every bit of the piss taking he gets. I’m thankful he comes out; it means I’m not the biggest idiot on the bus.

One thing you won’t fail to notice in that last paragraph is that I made the bus home! It’s been a long time coming but thanks to the prompt if not somewhat calculated dispensing of a doner kebab at Mega Munch I got on the bus with minutes to spare. I also had chronic dysentery from the afore mentioned kebab and I’m perusing a litigation case, for legal reasons I can only speculate at this time as I’m still awaiting the results of my stool sample.

Sadly we did loose two good men in "the battle at Chicago’s". Such treachery at 2am is a privilege I’ve yet to witness with my own eyes, generally speaking its usually me that falls foul to the events I saw unfold. At approximately 2.05am when vice captain Max Wall announces, "I’ve text them and they haven’t replied, tough luck" you soon realise that principle foundations such as ‘never leave a man in the field’, the kind of principles that gave hope to those in the trenches; has now become a forgotten myth that died with WW2, well it is with Potblack anyway.

Private Liam Harvey-Cooper and petty officer Aaron Cooper where announced MIA at roughly 2.08am Sunday morning. Despite my several attempts Contact Liam I have yet to receive anything that would suggest he is still alive and can only assume the worst. In fairness to Aaron he had fallen man written all over him. Despite being a self proclaimed expert at the game "tell her" being caught out by a mere novice, namely me, suggested otherwise. Poor Aaron had to sidle up to a group of girls and proceed to explain how one of them looked like, I quote "a complete slag" his delightful generalisation based on nothing more than exuberant exchanges of banter with members of the opposite sex that frequented her vicinity. We all hid as he fumbled his way through a piss poor explanation, thankfully she somehow saw the funny side to his ‘playful putdown’ and the resulting titillation was received with great dignity.

Special mention must go to the Crab who had a corporate function in London, he traipsed along the arduous journey from Liverpool Street to Norwich so he could join his fellow members. Sadly her arrived at 1.30am just in time to reap the benefits of 9 drunk PB members all furnished with a smorgasbord of delights from the Prince of Wales eateries. Good work Steve!

What’s next on the PB social calendar? Well I’m putting together the final touches to a PBFC poker night, with a twist. It will be a closed event at PBHQ and only open to those involved with footballing fraternity. It’s also worth mentioning the ‘twist’ part; you will only be allowed to play if you are wearing some form of wig, and shades! There won’t be a large amount of money on the table and Wally assures me he can cater for poker novices such as me and Molby Jones. Details to follow very soon but initial estimates are looking at late March as I know people like plenty of notice?

Retardo.

* BBC Exclusive- Breaking News!!!*

2010-02-13T18:02:00.002Z

(click on image left to enlarge, for the latest on the Pot Black Scandal)

Guns hit by Lay Off!

2010-02-08T11:07:00.005Z

As far as Pot Black Football Club are concerned this is the biggest 'Terry Story' to hit the papers this week.

L'Orange wide man Vinny Terry has seen his season drastically cut short through injury. Guns who picked up the injury in the last 16 of the County cup against Thurston FC in November when a dreadful challenge from behind went unpunished saw Vinny rolling in agony but after a hot bath, it appeared to be no more than stunned.

Although after breaking down the following day for his Sunday side it was two months before he attempted a come back against Suffolk Punch in the league cup in January. Again Vinny saw his hopes dashed as he hurdled a tackle only to see a heavy landing finish his outing, as the old pain return.

Vinny had his scan this week to find out the extent of the damage, but has been advised to finish until next season either way. Obviously this is a massive dent to L'Orange's ambitions as Vinny was key player in P.B successes last term. All at Pot Black wish Vinny a speedy recovery.

Goal of the Month Poll

2010-02-07T15:52:00.002Z

Well I know it is hard to believe after only 9 league matches that we could possibly been in February, yet here we are.

With only 2 matches played a month either side of Christmas, the good news is we were able to keep up our goal of the month competition.

As we gave Suffolk Punch a damn good thrashing, our 5 competitors all come from that match.

Be sure brothers, to cast your vote!!!

Macca Cracker!!!

2010-02-06T16:51:00.005Z

Lowestoft & District League Div 1- 06/02/10

Pot Black F.C- 1

Barsham F.C- 0

Match Overview- It was obviously no surprise that yet again Pot Black were forced into changes as the continued in and out availability of some players causes problems. As a result last years second best side faced this years current second best side.

Simon McAlone (pictured left) despite signing before Christmas made his belated debut between sticks, with regular keeper Kev Sherwood returning from sickness and injury with a place on the bench as outfield cover.

Barsham who's combination of youth and experience mirrored our own, were firm favourites against a L'Orange side still trying to find their feet.

The visitors started strongly but immediately found it tough to break down the P.B rear guard with Paul Taylor deployed as anchorman behind a lively pairing of Max Wall and Simon Durrant. Two early chances came for the side in their second strip of blue as Josh Woolnough was fraughted twice by the presence of Macca's cat like reactions.

All in all the first half was 50/50 encounter, with an effort from Targa dealt with and Adam Bird seeing his effort sail just wide. But it was Gav Hunt who stole the show, not only for his non stop running and desire but because his clearance smashed the back light of his markers fiesta, which most involved could raise a smile to.

The second half initially started like the first, but with acceptation of some more dangerous looking counter attacks, and from one of these Max Wall scored what proved to be the winner as Paul Taylor mopped up at the back before releasing to Gav Hunt who travelled down the left wing before laying off to Targa, who's one two with Adam Bird saw a perfect slotted ball taken in Walley's stride before confidently dispatching past the out rushing keeper.

Pot Black rocks Stu Canham and Kev Sherwood were deployed at the expense of Danny Rose & Gaz Boyd who had been solid through out as Pot Black bolted the door shut at the back with Barsham throwing three up front but the increased amount of high balls into the box were welcomed to the delight of the six foot back line wearing orange!

Goals- Max Wall

G.H. Windows & Doors M.O.M- Max Wall, lung busting performance from the vice-captain with bite and craft, but the finish was the cherry on top!

L'Orange in Turmoil!!!

2010-02-05T15:24:00.006Z

As this week has proved everybody has their flaws and for John Terry the 'leader of men' and Representative of all proud Englishman, the Nations Captain's flaw happens to be slutty brunettes!

Well this may have rocked the nation but the news that has been passed my way from a very reliable sources has rocked parts of Asia as well!

Despite rumours that Ross 'Molby' Jones Pot Black legend had left Lowestoft to start an XL plus men's clothing shop in Milan and another that he was at Fat Camp in San Fransico. It appears our Hero has fled the UK for Qatar to avoid paparazzi after rumours have arisen linking him with a team mates partner. Legally I am unable to announce the injured party at this time, but I can confirm both Eidur Gudjohnson and Marcel Desailly have denied any involvement.

Molby-Jones (pictured below left) has yet to release a statement, but Pot Black Reporter Rob 'I can Smell It' Sterry will keep us up to date as the story breaks, and L'Orange private dick Danny 'I'll Nail His Arse' Rose will continue to stick his nose in places Jones will find very uncomfortable.

Words from The Retard 03-02-10

2010-02-03T16:57:00.003Z

With last weeks game a write off yet again due to the perilous conditions blessed upon the hallow turf at Normaston park you might like me be left wondering what to do on a weekend? Well I went crazy and went to Asda to ‘help’ with the weekly shop, fuck me, never again. If I have to stay at home under the pretence of ‘doing jobs’ I will, even if it also means I have to build an ark I will, anything to avoid the Lowestoft Asda which seemed to be a haven for inbred chavs.

With the weather resembling something you would come to expect in Moscow you have to wonder if we will play this weekends game? I know certain members of the PB squad will be hoping it’s off in a bid to avoid missing further games. Crocked Vinny Terry heading up the list after his ‘knee of a 60 year old’ gave way in our last game, the crab being another un available for selection due to double booking himself with his monthly anal bleaching.

Never fear lads, if we do nothing else this Saturday we will be doing something, and that my friends is go to the city of dreams to take 6months off our liver, to quote Neil banks, "the promised land awaits". As Dan mentioned the bus is booked for a 7pm pick up from Potblack and returning, I hope, at 2am but If like me and hairy jowls you are offensively handsome and you take very little effort in making yourself look like a raging stud you will take full advantage of the cheap alcohol on offer at PBHQ and arrive as early as possible. Good news; at 3.14pm last Saturday BBC news reported a smile adorning Ian’s face when he realised the game was off and he wouldn’t have to serve any post match teas or coffee’s! So I thinks its only fair we make his day and arrive on mass and test our third fourth favourite bar tenders temperament, I’m sure another smile is on the cards this week; if only we could see it under his 2foot tash!

Booking such an occasion for the illustrious ‘Holland of Lowestoft’ can prove tricky as getting hold of certain players and further more getting them to commit to a night out is like trying to get Boydie to sit on the bench in a Hearts game. Sadly this week we lost two more good men, Gav Hunt and Mark Landsdale. This adds to a list containing Scotty ‘Too Hotty’ Reynolds who will be celebrating his girlfriends 21st with a dirty weekend in London, "sorry Scotty if you’d asked earlier I could have lent you the toys". Also on the list of no shows is Ross Jones who is currently attending fat camp in San Francisco; he is said to be doing well after a bad start on the first day where he attempted to eat 4 peoples dinner and the camps pet gerbil. Further no shows include Gary and Darren Boyd who are attending a sheep shearing event in Essex where they are hoping to pose as the dark faced Norfolk breed in a vain attempt to loose some chest hair. As for Gav he had to bow out as its his wife Donna’s turn to hit the tiles, he wont mess with her as last time he tried to cross her she got pregnant.

Lastly Mark ‘Desperate Dan’ Landsdale. Unlike Gav, Mark has a more elaborate story for his no show for the all stars hitting Norwich. Mark is now pushing 42 and his body and ability to handle alcohol is flailing. Credit where credit is due though, his ambition and enthusiasm far outweigh any ability to consume booze but sometime in life you have to accept the things you can no longer change and when you return home at 11pm after only going out at 9pm then proceeding to puke all up the walls and all over the carpet in a newly decorated room you have to accept its time to call a halt to your attempt to behave like a young buck. The simple fact is Mark despite making two of most of us your days of drinking for two people are over. You are in danger of becoming your father in law, yes a modern day legend in David Edmunds when it comes to drinking. We all know the picture of Daisy passed out in Stansted Airport dressed as a pervert, before we even left British soil, well your not far off old cock!

With every could there is a silver lining and as two men fall two men step up, waiting to pounce on an empty seat like Kev Sherwood waiting to protest a Kevin Batty decision was dance off Champion of Champions Jamie Butcher, early reports suggest he is odds on favourite in a 1am Dance off in Optic. Also laying in wait was Sunday team and Jam front man Kezza Wardrope. He is recently out of prison after doing 8 months for filming up ladies skirts with the old ‘video camera in a bag’ trick. He was finally caught under Cromer Pier pleasuring himself but was recently released for good behaviour. He is still suffering from his starvation attempt and is visibly frail but thankfully he has bulked up enough to attend. In a statement for the PB website Kez has credited his turn around to Adam Bird and his exemplary dietary advice.

With big names on Saturday’s bill such as Banks, Sherwood, Sterry, Wall, Mckinley, Collins and Laws it has all the ingredients for a classic PB night out so If you didn’t get back to me shame on you, we’ll toast a drink for those stuck in front of Cuming on Ice and Blind Date but bare this in mind, myself and the Crab are close to finalising a deal for the annual PB tour. Names are already being pencilled in and with the destination we have lined up it is sure to be an absolute corker. The final pearl of wisdom I will dispense in this gallant amount of waffle is worth remembering ......poor is a man who’s pleasures depend on the permission of another… see you Saturday home boys!

Next Match

2010-02-02T14:02:00.003Z

League Match 06/02/10

Vs Barsham

@ Normo

meet at 1.45pm

Sorry for the confusion with the fixtures I received a list of Feb's fixtures from the league,

and it had us as back to back matches with Corton, but luckily club secretary 'The Crab' is better organised than them and put things straight.

As we know from last year after two extremely tough matches, Barsham are a tough team to break down and to make things even more difficult they significantly strengthened last summer with half a dozen players from higher clubs including two of the quickest and most free scoring players in the league. I don't mean to put doubt in your minds, I just want you to be ready for Saturday and be prepared to do whats necessary.

All aboard!!!!!!!!!

2010-02-02T13:51:00.003Z

Well chaps, there is one quick reminder that Rob 'The Retard' Sterry has returned home and is performing in his role as party liaison?

No! I know what you're thinking, there's been an increase in our players being nutmegged and more own goals.... No not at all, thankfully last weeks match was cancelled!

This Saturday Master Sterry has organised a bus to Norwich successfully, leaving from P.B.H.Q at 7pm. (perfect timing really as the England rugby Kicks off at 5pm).

If you are not on the list going to Narrrwich, then you've only got yourself to blame as its been advertised for several weeks and 'The Retards' been chasing round as well. As there are some serious social hand grenades booked on the night out there will defiantly be a name and shame on here next week!!!

Viva L'Orange.

Next Match

2010-01-29T12:11:00.003Z

Lowestoft & District League Division 1- 30/01/10

Vs Corton white horse seltic

@ Corton

meet at 1.15pm

After a great result last week against a strong Suffolk Punch side I expect everyone to carry forward the same attitude, confidence and desire to win. Obviously we know that Seltic have been struggling this year but remember so have we and on their day the quick young side can cause problems! Nothing is guaranteed so focus and be victorious!

Pot Black F.C and the great Banksey 'Yeeeha' Plot!

2010-01-29T11:58:00.004Z

After recently feeling a bit doom and gloom with crappy weather and the nights fully pulled in, as this desolate winter continues. I received a ray of light through the darkness, which lifted my spirits!

On last years summer bike ride in June last year we stopped in the Prince Albert Public House for a quick game of 'Yeeeha'!

Although that was obviously great fun, the most amusing thing came when Banksey (pictured left) slipped off for a slash, and the rest of the side decided to stitch him up even though he does nothing wrong! Just look at the confusion on his face! Great!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCWM1j18kJ4

Brought to you courtesy of 'Gary Boyd Films'

L'Orange New Boys!

2010-01-23T17:18:00.006Z

Despite Pot Black's massive squad at the start of the season, retirement, work commitments and injuries have seen the Pot Black ranks striped in recent matches.

The two latest additions to pull on the hallowed orange shirts of Pot Black Football Club are Scott Harvey (left) and Stuart Canham (right).

Electric dangerman Scott 'Jimmy' Harvey who played his first game of football in 7 months on Saturday made an instant impact for his new side when he crowned a confident display with a Cooley taken goal in the cup. Jimmy formerly of Oulton Broad F.C's now disbanded anglian combination side, signs on at the perfect time as long time P.B servant Rob Cooper has had to give up regular Saturday football due to work commitments.

Stu Canham's debut and follow up could not of been more different after enduring a defeat at Norton 5-0, the experience and accomplished centre half looked comfortable as he came off the bench to lock the door on any revival in his new sides 6-0 cup victory against Suffolk Punch.

P.B Manager Danny McKinley is delighted to welcome both lads to their new family as their general attitude, work ethic and easy integration into the orange shirts has been noted by players and management a like. Well done lads long may it continue.

Knockout Punch!

2010-01-23T16:19:00.007Z

League Knock Out Cup 2nd Round 23-01-10.

Pot Black F.C- 6

Suffolk Punch- 0

Match Overview- After Pot Black's continued dismal form of late, they we're under no illusions with regards the task at hand. Despite playing a league below the home side, Punch are a team mixed with experience and ability and were going to be an extremely tough challenge for any side in this competition, with Jermaine Boyce, Jeff Humphries, Kai King, Batch, Vialli and Hitchum all starting in the Punch ranks.

After P.B's dissection last week at the hands of Div 1 high flyer's Norton, it was all change in the L'Orange ranks as Gary Boyd, Paul Taylor, Ricci Reeder, Vinny Terry (making his 1st appearance for 2 mths) and debutant Scott Harvey all starting.

The home side started strongly after receiving their orders from their returning manager Danny McKinley, with Vinny Terry and Max Wall shinning with some great energy and drive, but it was Adam Bird who gave P.B the early lead when he met L'Oranges first corner at the near post, heading a delightfully whipped Max Wall cross into the roof of the net.

Disaster struck after Pot Black joy insued as the returning Vinny Terry appeared to have a recurrence of his knee injury after jumping around an attempted tackle, as he landed heavily 20 minutes into the game, as Steve Collins replaced 'Guns' in an unfamiliar left wing role.

The remainder of the first half was a 50/50 affair with neither side troubling either keeper as both physically strong defences held strong, and the only action of note being Jermaine Boyce receiving a caution for persistent decent, and Adam Bird being brought down in the box only to see the foul given a outside the box with the resulting freekick being dealt with.

The second half was a more lively affair as shortly after the break some excellent football from Pot Black Academy starlets Adam Bird & Max Wall produced the best move of the match as Max Wall finally rounded the keeper to fire home.

With the visitors clearly gutted at seeing their hard work go reward less, Gav Hunt's endeavours paid dividends as his bravery saw the keepers attempted Clearance canon off the powerful striker and fall at his feet as he cheekily for filled childhood dreams as he stopped the ball on the line before dropping to his knees and headering home.

The only unsavory moment of the match was when Jermaine Boyce received a second yellow for descent, leaving the Punch dangerman disgruntled and furious, but to the credit of his team mates and manager they retained a cool head as their striker argued his case from the sideline.

Pot Black now brought Rob Sterry and Stuart Canham into the action as the impressive backline continued as it began, with full backs Danny Rose and Gary Boyd given a rest.

Reduced to 10 men, Punch now struggled to contain the Division 1 side as Gav Hunt burst onto a Scott Harvey pass as he charged towards the opposition keeper before rolling the ball back to a focused Adam Bird as he calmly flicked the ball into the top corner with the outside of his boot.

Punches continued high line, as they went forward in a nothing to lose mentality proved their undoing as Max Wall released a perfect pass through the middle which saw debutant Scott 'Jimmy' Harvey's dynamic pace leave the visitors backline for dead as he slotted into the bottom corner with confidence.

Last but not least saw Steve Collins chip in with a real collectors item, after drawing the foul on the edge of the box wide on the left, The Crab proceeded to place the ball inside the right hand post with gusto, and no one appeared more shocked than Steve, who forgot to celebrate.

All in all, a highly pleasing performance as each goal was met with a cheer, the arguing disappeared, the quality football returned but more importantly the performance was against a good side, so you should be very pleased with yourselves this evening, well done.

Goals- Adam Bird x2, Max Wall, Gav Hunt, Scott Harvey and Steve Collins.

G.H.Windows & Doors M.O.M- The Pot Black defensive 7 (inc 2 subs), despite some strong performances all round, the boys at the back (R.Reeder, G.Boyd, D.Laws, D.Boyd, D.Rose, R.Sterry, and S.Canham) were business like and faultless all day.

Words from the Retard 20/01/10

2010-01-20T13:28:00.003Z

After a six month lay off of even the slightest iota of social activity, not counting Boydie’s weekly trip to the bingo down the workmans club, or Kevs visit to the Doctor to have his prostate examined again (its not supposed to be fun Kev) its time we chucked some coal in the party fire and re ignited the Potblack piss ups. The mere mention of a trip to Norwich made those pussy whipped suck through there teeth and say "I need some notice", especially when I suggested something as close as next week, had Danny of been there the slightest mention of a night out in Norwich would of had him reach for the Pepto Bizmol and a prozac or anti depressant as he contemplated over coming his phobia of nightclubs and the young’uns that frequent those type of establishments.

With all that in mind I suggest we have a wee jaunt up the road to the fine city of Norwich on Sat 6th of Feb. For those in the know it does co-inside with a few of the wags going away for the weekend so there should be no excuses…you know who you are!! I can if need be organise transport but baring in mind my last attempt at this saw me running after the cab as it pulled away with Banksy and Birdy laughing at me telling everyone I was laying in the river Wensum face up with my corpse being raped by some meth heads I will wait to see what the majority wishes to do. I also still carry the scars of having to let everyone get in cabs for Danny’s local stag do after Ross’s mate let us down with some pre arranged cabs, only to walk up Prince of Wales street and bump into Liam Harvey eating a chicken Kebab completely unaware that everyone had gone home. All was not lost though we shared a night of passion on my mates couch in Norwich just managing to make it home on the early train back for a Sunday games kick off.

I will endeavour to avoid these perilous fates but we all know it’s a tradition of mine to have something go wrong, However if I get the Crab involved I’m sure he would have helicopters arrive to pick us up if Taxi’s let us down as he displays organisational qualities that are only equal to that of an MFI employee, or is that MI5? Failing this you have the option of an early train home but as the Messiah Mick Wall will tell you, its no good realising you need to catch the train at 1am as you stand imbibing a vodka in a Cuban bar, it left over 2 hours ago mate. So choose wisely as spaces will be allocated for the bus and alcohol has a nasty habit of making your watch do funny things with the time.

Will need to know ASAP if you wanna come and more details will follow but more importantly keep Saturday 6th of Feb free and book it with the wife, girlfriend, boyfriend or pet as comrades as we are officially celebrating my return, no excuses, none of this I have a new baby, can’t get a baby sitter, drug them, and they will sleep for weeks, that’s wags as well.

All PB players and committee members are invited and with the recent announcement from the government that drinking games are to be banned from bars and clubs I have this to say, "fuck you Grodon Brown, we are Pot Black and whilst sensible drinkers don’t need rules to behave, bad people find ways around them!!"

To the regiment my friends, I wish I was there!

** Pot Black F.C 'Night Out in Norwich' on 6th Feb 2010 (confirmation to 'The Retard' via text for space on bus)**

Bank Holiday Decision

2010-01-19T23:46:00.004Z

As previously advertised on our site, Pot Black have been requested to play more than one game over the Easter bank holiday weekend and we have agreed to play a second match on the Monday, League Secretary Micki Johnson was keen to tell me that Hearts were playing league games Friday, Saturday and Monday........ Well good for them!

Luckily Micki understood our problem in doing the same, that because most of our players are crackheads and all the Chemists are closed over the bank holiday, they would all be KO'd on Friday from their Thursday bulk supply of Methadone! Job Done, no match!

Where to next L'Orange?

2010-01-19T23:06:00.005Z

Ask yourself lads do you feel strangely empty right now and not know why? Maybe its the knowledge that the weekend after next is the annual anniversary date for our Pot Black European tour, yet this January we look set to be playing football on the rainy east coast rather than sitting in a stunning square in eastern Europe drinking good beer in a very large glasses.

Well that's the bad news over. It's not all doom and gloom as our decision post Prague'09 was to go somewhere a little bit warmer this time around some time in May/June. Looking at that now it's amazing how good a decision that could prove to be with no lack of cold Russian winds and snow showers at of late at home, it would have been a bus man's holiday.

Another thing to remember is that our 'Party Liaison' Rob Sterry has officially returned which means two things, firstly when we finally decide on a destination- there is no party like a pot black party, and secondly after Rob's jaunt down under he has become so acclimatised to the temperature below the equator he has not removed his "M'Uggs" of his feet since he returned and a trip to warmer waters would force then force the damn things off his feet, we can only prey!

So lads we need some suggestions? Do you fancy a weekend on a beach in Spain, or 3 days in a German beer tent? The choice is yours... Text your suggestion to Rob as begins his research once again.

Viva L'Orange.

Words from The Retard- 19/01/10

2010-01-19T22:55:00.003Z

Guess who’s back, back again, Sterry’s back, tell a friend.... Just like Take That, tight jeans or a bad bought of herpes I’m back. It’s been over six months but for me it’s felt like three years. Thankfully due to the shite weather I have only missed seven games, so rest now my friends, the retard is back and along with it comes a social scene to rival an 18-30’s holiday!!

I’ve missed football bad, it’s a real cliché but sometimes you have to be away from something to realise just how good it is. We are lucky to have Potblack, the team, the friends, and most of all the laughs. Potblack is like having an extended family and being away made me appreciate just what we have, I hope you feel the same because if you don’t there are plenty of other teams in the league!

To follow on with the gaffa’s recent approach to writing blogs on our website; Potblack are great, I have the following glowing report to write on Saturdays game... er..... er...... umm.... Ok with a 5-0 drumming being handed to us, along with our arses, I’m gonna go back to how things used to be and take the piss!

Danny was unfortunately terminally ill with Meningitis of the anos contacting me from his death bed (pictured above) requesting that I take reins with Kev but as Kev is about as tricky to get hold of as Osama Bin Laden during the week Rafa Sterry stepped up to the plate and made some tough choices; how do I make a team from 8 confirmed players? Somehow we mustered 13 but my inspired ramble before the game served as nothing more than a delightful little story as Norton showed us why they are strong contenders for the title. Despite having a striker who weighs 7 stone soaking wet, Newton Faulkner playing centre midfield Ron Weasley in defence they are an organised outfit who looked like they could score with every attack. We matched them for 35 minutes but after conceding the first goal we looked like Audley Harrison bouncing off the ropes bobbing and weaving simply trying to avoid more pain.

The highlights of the game; Ross declaring that Will shows a similar turn of pace to himself (only if you spot an un eaten zinger burger laying on the pavement) or possibly Rosey’s blatant attempt to scythe the winger down only to realise he was inside the box..what were you thinking Rosey, he was going nowhere?! Possibly the look on the two females faces as I shouted to Ross’s dad Pete who was standing sheltering two young lezza’s with his brolley "you know you’re not supposed to be around ladies, the judge said so for at least a year" nah my highlight was 8 minutes in the pissing down with rain, a pungent smell of cow shit in the air and freezing my testicles off as I ran on to the pitch – oh this is what I missed!

We take the positives from every game lads and yesterday... well... there wasn’t too many. When I text round Friday night and at 8pm I had me Ross and Banksy starting with no subs simply avoiding that fate was a success. During the game Hunty showed determination even when we were 5 down, Max showed flashes of his best form and Boydie never moaned once although Cooper would probably argue he did! I know your probably thinking that the highlight I might of missed was my fresh air attempt to clear the ball back up the line which wouldn’t of looked out of place on strictly come dancing, yes it was a hilarious moment for all but cast your memory back to only a few seasons ago and I seem to remember our very own Fat Jesus Mckinley doing the very same thing on the very same pitch in almost the very same spot, what can I say it happens to the best of us!!

Suffolk punch next week in the cup and that will be a tough task against a side that could easily fit in the division one. Unless we can find our fighting spirit we won’t win, simple as that. We have stopped being a hard team to beat and become quitters when it gets tough. That’s not the case for everyone but we are a team so its no good just one or two showing the Potblack grit of years gone by it has to come from all of us. Nothing comes easy in this league and winning comes at a price and that price is hard bloody work so don’t be shy, man up and be counted if not step aside and let someone else have a go as its time to turn things around.

Vive l’orange

L'Orange need time to thaw!

2010-01-17T17:36:00.004Z

League Match 16/01/10

Norton Athletic- 5

Pot Black F.C- 0

Match Overview- The old saying is "It never rains but it pours" and by god there has never been a truer word spoken.

After almost a month without any football it was always going to be difficult for all players to get going but for Pot Black, having only played 7 matches this season as unbelievably we enter our 5 month it is worse than for most.

On top of this having 14 players unavailable (+2 retiring this season), and Manager Danny McKinley unable to attend due to illness this was always going to be an up hill struggle.

In order to get this match played L'Orange brought in 4 faces new and old, as Stuart Canham and Alex Ingles signed on the day and Will Denton also made his Pot Black debut, all in the starting line up. On the bench a more familiar face made his return as Rob Sterry marked his return from Oz as he not only kicked his first ball since May 2009 but also took over the reigns as caretaker manager.

In fairness to our strong opponents they were initially made to work for the spoils as the opening encounters saw gilt edge chances for both sides go to waste, before the in form Norton side took the lead with a good header before being gifted a penalty after a reckless challenge saw the outcome sealed. Norton added one more before the interval and went some way to revenging two 5 goal defeats they under went last season with 2 more goals added in the second half.

Bank Holiday Consideration?

2010-01-13T14:46:00.004Z

I know it's a way off at present but as we've only played 7 matches, the league are pushing us to play another match over the Easter weekend on top of the Saturday match, playing a second game on either the Friday or the Monday.

Obviously the real people who need to consider this decision is the Boyd's, Lawsey and Danny Rose, pictured left last bank holiday, who clearly do not know their limits.

The choice is yours Friday or Monday?

Return of the Retard...and his dirty little secret!

2010-01-12T12:59:00.007Z

If you haven't already been informed by your children's schools, it's official Rob 'The Retard' Sterry is back in town! Now I for one know you'll be as delighted as me that our party liaison is no longer down under, as so many of you have stated what a big loss in the dressing room he is.

Well I'm pleased to say Rob has lost non of his wreck less nature or lack of foresight for which we love him for, as I turned up at Ross Molby-Jones house on Friday night for his and Martels welcome home drinks only for him to produce a bottle of Jagermeister for him and I to share... will you never learn young skywalker!

Yet after giving The Retard 7 days to adapt to the weather and UK living conditions, I feel it now time to lift the 6mth "Sterry piss take ban"!

On visiting the walkabout couple within 30 minutes of getting back through their front door, our speedy arrival caught Mr.Sterry by surprise giving him no time to change his choice of footwear... Rob stood a little as did in the picture above wearing a super snuggly pair of men's Ugg's, which as we all know gives wearers the commonly known nickname... M'uggs!!!! Rob immediately put up his defensive barrier spluttering "I Kn,Kn,Know what you're going to say but they're really warm, and to be honest mate I'd considered wearing them to football!"

Well Mr Sterry I'd like to see that! Have you got the minerals?

Best Wishes The Gaffer.

Coming soon- Words from the Retard (the return)

Next Match...

2010-01-12T12:54:00.003Z

League Match 16/01/10

Vs Norton Ath

@ Norton

meet at The Foxburrow at 12.45pm

At last lads it seems we finally might get to play a match! It's just typical its against an inform Norton side but never the less our priority for the first few weeks is the performances not the results as we aim to get our clubs spirit and heart back on track!

December Goal of the Month

2010-01-03T16:15:00.005Z

Well it's no surprise that Gav Hunt (pictured left) has won last months Goal competition as firstly we only played one game, and secondly he scored both goals against Mutford at home.

Ironically his strikes received a split vote 50% each but he won't care as he makes it back to back monthly wins.

Keep it up Gav, and the rest of you need to start putting him under some pressure.

Eat, Drink & Be Merry!

2009-12-21T05:26:00.003Z

The Pot Black Management would like to convey their best wishes to all players, families and friends for Christmas and the New Year.

On top of the usual festivities I'm sure you'll have planned their are also quite a few things to look forward to, firstly we'd love to see you all down at P.B.H.Q on Christmas Eve afternoon for a xmas beer as its normally entertaining as its usually the busiest bar in town (just stacked as a rule), but as you can see Banksey (pictured left) won't be there after last Saturday when he was finally given a green card he did what felt natural to him, and has seen another 6mth grounding been enforced.

Although the main thing to look forward to is the 'Return of the Retard' when we plan to welcome our hero home in the only way we know how!!!! YEEEEEEHA! (Rob Returns 5th Jan, lash up date to be confirmed, probably the 8th? )

Pot Black Are Great!!!! Offical, Coz We Say So!

2009-12-21T04:55:00.004Z

It's finally happened, the uneducated inbreed skip rat wastes of skin, that some how summoned the intellect to get dressed and work a computer in the same day have finally ruined it for everyone else.

After several completely unprovoked and idiotic personal attacks on our players on our Pot Black Comments pages from one or more people (not the first time I might add) we have decided to remove this feature.

The people who on several occasions was asked to reveal his or their identity, chose rather to write school ground slanders like a coward hiding behind anonymity proving a an IQ equal to that of a potato.

As Pot Black's site was originally set up to make fun of ourselves and for our own personal enjoyment, it becomes frustrating when morons come on and use needles vulgar comments and abusive language.

On the other hand P.B do believe in democracy and we were always pleased to have sensible or amusing comments from opposition with a couple of The Hearts lads making some valuable contributions over the last year or so.

Unfortunately that has now changed as the Pot Black Communications and Publicity Department have decided to employ a new system.

As Mr. Anon was obviously so eaten up with rage and jealousy at some of the posts we placed on our blog and unable to keep his comments to himself, so we will now be using the Cristian Church's Missionary idea as instead of letting you decide if you think we're great, We'll be coming to you and ramming it down your throats with the new weekly 'Pot Black are great self-appraisal blog' and 'I am Father McKinley and my sermons begin this week and each week after that I will be asking players and fans for their views on why we're GREAT!' And the best thing about it is I've removed the comments page so however much you hate us and want to tell us, you'll just have to suck it!!! Meeerrrryyyy Christmasssssss!

VIVA L'ORANGE!!!

Apologies

2009-12-21T04:43:00.003Z

I'd just like to say a quick apology for the lack of updates in the last week or so. I know that the absence of new material has left many of you hollow inside, poor Rob for one has been pulling his hair out in the back end of beyond in a shitty camper van in NZ, so my biggest apology goes to Martel as quite frankly I bet he's been hell to live with!

My two reasons for this down turn in production was firstly the only time I had free was last Sunday when I have to say my match report would have been less than constructive as I was savaged by our abysmal performance (it wasn't a 'you only comment when you win' thing as we posted match reports of other defeats, just so you non-P.B member readers don't start chocking on your hatred laced envious words!) , and later in the week I didn't have time. So there ya go!

Next Match 12/12/09

2009-12-10T14:34:00.005Z

League Match

Vs Wrentham & Mutford F.C

@ Normo

meet at 1.15pm.

Well lads we've had a week off which I personally think was much needed, not psychically but mentally after a slip up against Spexhall and a narrow defeat in the County Cup. Wrentham have had a below par start this term but should not be underestimated, as despite general opinion we ourselves are perceived to of had a bad start when in fact we've had a better start than last year with 9 points after 6 matches equalling last season but going one round further in the county cup. On paper we may be fighting a dying scorpion, in reality they still have a sting in their tail.

Hit's, Hit's, Hit's!

2009-12-08T14:26:00.004Z

Pot Black are delighted to announce that our website is now officially the most successful in the Lowestoft & District league after reaching 40,000 hits in only 2 years (not bad when you consider we're just a small club with one team, and that we didn't have a hit counter for the first 6mths the site was online).

Thank you once again for your continued support, and to celebrate this landmark, L'Orange would like to ask you to introduce 1 new person to our site this week, spread the word.

Viva L'Orange!

November Goal of the Month

2009-12-08T14:06:00.006Z

Well obviously as soon as I opened my big gob, things would go the opposite to what I said, just like the time I told my pal Michael Fish there's no chance we'll have a hurricane, and the time I told Rob's uncle, Joseph Fritzel that people never check the cellar.... What the hell do I know?

Ok so Cooper did score a cracker but to be fair Gav's strike was cool as ya like and beautifully lifted for a classy finish which was a worthy winner any day of the week.

November Goal of the Month

1st) Gav Hunt Vs Thurston F.C (51%)
2nd) Rob Cooper Vs Thurston F.C (43%)
jnt 3rd) Adam Bird Vs Spexhall & Max Wall Vs Acton Crown (both 3%)

Success, at what cost?

2009-12-05T06:53:00.005Z

For those of you who were not already aware, I am extremely sad to say that our Pot Black Sunday side has withdrawn from the league.

I for one am left utterly despondent and baffled by some the attitudes of the lads who only 8 months ago were bitching and whinging that they wanted to start every week etc.

Firstly I'd like to say a big thank you to David 'Daisy' Edmunds for all the hard work he has done over the years, in what is in truth a thankless task, faced with call off and crap excuses week in and week out, in a job where people seem to take every decision as a personal attack.

Last year was by far Pot Black's most successful across the board with the Saturday side arguably winning the league in the 'Lowestoft & District Hearts of Oak Division 1' by coming runners up, and the Sunday side coming close runners up in the Sunday Division 1, incredibly reaching the Suffolk F.A County Cup finishing runners up, and lifting the League Cup at Crown Meadow. Look at us now!

Daisy after such success had endless offers from players wanting to sign pre-season but showed the loyalty that he obviously expected in return, by keeping faith in the squad he'd assembled adding one or two but was soon left scrapping for a side against teams who quite frankly 5 or 6 years ago would of been playing 3rd division football.

The old adverb is "You never know what you had, til its gone!" Well lads it is gone and you blew it! You had the chance to be in contention to lift trophies every year, have trips away with the lads every year, and for you younger lads to quite literally play footie with your mates every week! But you threw away that for what? getting drunk and sleeping in? Bloody hell grow some balls!!! turn up pissed and be sick before kick off if needs be. For a new girl friend? Well you might as well put on a gimp mask, because you're their bitch! How can you give up what you love so cheaply and quickly, when every other man in the country has to argue and fight for their footballing right to weekend games with their loved ones?

Okay, so this Sunday when its cold and pissing down you might be glad there's no match! But at some point in the future you'll want to play, if your new girlfriend lets you? And you'll look round the changing room at people you don't really know, or want to for that matter. and a for a team you have no connection with, and maybe just maybe, you'll realise then what you had?

If I'd stayed in bed what would I have missed? Seeing Rob play with a moustache drawn on his face, playing against John Wark with 9 men, Seeing Tants, Kev, and Sterry play wearing their shorts like thongs, watching Berger score the greatest goal I've ever witnessed, Seeing Fat Harry choke on a donut when our team of nobodies equalised against his all stars, Lansey scoring a hat trick but missing six, seeing daisy lose his final stud, seeing Birdy, Lawsey and Max turn from boys to men, and finally all the things I laughed about over the years which have made it so great.

You've made your bed now chaps and now you must lie in it!

Good bye and good luck.

Danny McKinley.

No Game This Week!

2009-12-01T16:51:00.002Z

No Game

5th December 2009

Unfortunately it has fallen so this week we are the odd team out so as a result we have no fixture. Our next match will be against Mutford & Wrentham on 12/12/09 at home.

Remember our Xmas Bash is this Saturday at P.B.H.Q.

Just S***!!!!

2009-11-28T17:23:00.006Z

I'd like to say how bloody embarrassing it was today when our Opponents from Thurston were left with some wondrous and ever lasting images of our fair town!

Firstly the poor sod's who normally play sides with their own pitch, club houses etc got lumbered with the ghetto style back changing rooms which is like walking into a '1944 Berlin simulator'.

Before walking to our pitch with the breathing back drop of the burnt out pavilion, just stunning!

Could this get any worse? Apparently yes it could!

Over the last few weeks there's been an increasing need to clear dog mess of our pitch but this week it was just unbelievable!!!

Prior to the match the poor groundsman was forced to clear 4 big piles with his shovel! Before I found 3 more, which I nearly filled a bloody carrier bag with!!!

Are we finished? Are we heck! The referee was then forced two stop the match when a defender found 4 MORE TURDS and the groundsman had to be called! Lastly if we weren't disgusted already, a player was forced to leave the pitch after getting another heap on his boot amongst his laces!!! Disgraceful! 12 piles of S**t on one pitch and for once it wasn't the ref & the opponents (only kidding)!

Next time you're down there and you see some a***hole not clearing up after his mutt throw a few F's at them and let them know that dog crap in the eye can cause blindness! Not a Laughing matter!!!!

Banks for the Memories!

2009-11-28T17:09:00.004Z

Pot Black Icon Neil Banks has announced he is hanging up his boots officially after today's cup exit to Thurston FC.

Due to family commitments Neil who so desperately wanted to reach his target of playing til he was 40, has cruelly fell short by just 8 months!

Neil has stated that he will be up to cheer on the side when it doesn't clash with his new flourishing green bowls career.

Thank you Neil (aged 39 from Lowestoft) for your.....? Not so much service.....Er whats the word?... Oh yeah, Entertainment! Cheers Mate!

P.B Bow Out!

2009-11-28T16:10:00.006Z

Suffolk F.A Junior Cup 3rd Round 28/11/09

Pot Black F.C- 2

Thurston F.C- 3

Match Overview- Pot Black entered this match with an ever revolving squad due to absence and injuries, with Max Wall notably heading the list of players M.I.A from last week.

Pot Black started well against their opposition from Bury St. Edmunds who play several Equivalent divisions higher in the S.I.L Division 1 (the same league as Wenhaston Utd).

The visitors spurred an early chance after Captain Darren Boyd slipped on the greasy surface but the dangerous striker fired wide. Pot Black enjoyed some good possession prior to the break and took the lead when Rob Cooper hit a spectacular volley from 30 yards plus, over the keepers head with awesome dip and power into the net a shoe in for goal of the month.

After the interval L'Orange started slower as the visitors started to show their quality as their wide man proved their star man as he drew players in with his tricks.

A fine volley inside the 18 yard box saw the blue & whites draw level as the ball nestled in the bottom corner. Shortly after Thurston were in front after more wide play saw Captain Darren Boyd left marking two men, a hopeless task in truth as the striker Cooley slotted inside the post for an accomplished finish.

The only real controversial of the match came when Gav Hunt burst through the middle latching on to a perfect pass as he slotted confidently home, only to have the goal scrubbed for offside as the Referee failed to consult with his linesman who had flagged for the left midfielder Scotty Reynolds who was standing offside despite having no involvement in the move what so ever later stating "..It's not my job to check with the assistant!"........Oh really? You learn something new every day, what next?..... No Whistle? Binoculars? an Atkins Diet Book?

Rob Cooper should really of clawed his side back into the match when he snatched at a close range effort blasting his shot against the crossbar, and on another instance passed rather than shot as another good move broke down.

P.B did manage to pull level though as Gav Hunt broke down the right lifting the ball over the out rushing keeper for 2-2. Sadly L'Orange were denied their much craved away trip as a pass found its way to their pacy striker who rounded Kev Sherwood with an annoyingly flashy finish, but had it been at the other end I'd of been pretty smug myself.

All in all we had or chances and so did they, in what was in truth an entertaining and tight match. But from a Pot Black point of view, what we all need realise is that being fired up, shouting and tackling over zealously does not always have a positive effect! If your passion is misplaced you are letting yourself and your mates down! Leaking a goal, moaning about it, pointing fingers or shouting at the top of your voice in frustration, only lowers moral and confidence! In the future we pick the ball out of the net run it back to the spot and atone for errors as a team, as mates! Do not forget this boys!

Goals- Rob Cooper & Gavin Hunt

G.H.Windows & Doors M.O.M- Steve Collins, a comfortable and positive display at full back, even more so since Ben Le Compte and Gav Hunt worked their socks off and pushed him all the way. (but for god sake steve cheer up!)

Next Saturday

2009-11-28T11:49:00.003Z

Pot Black FC Xmas Bash 2009,
Race Night,
Saturday 5th December,
Race Card starts at 7.30pm
@ P.B.H.Q.
(Partners and Families welcome)

If you haven't seen Mick Wall for a while it may come as quite a surprise that he's grown some massive sideburns and was last seen wearing a sheepskin coat and monocle in preparation for next weeks Crimbo Bash as he's organised a P.B Race Night.

With an action packed race card of greyhounds and horses £1 bet will give you the chance to make some healthy returns!

On top of this we'll no doubt be running some other competitions for you all to get your teeth into!

Can't wait to see you there, the more the merrier!

The Gaffer.

League Knock-Out Cup

2009-11-28T11:24:00.003Z

2nd Round Draw
Vs Suffolk Punch
@ Normo
Date T.B.C

Okay so the draw could easily have been worse with Hearts and K&P still in the hat, but even so its still a real tough challenge with a mix of ex-FC Hearts players sprinkled with some other familiar faces from seasons past.

What we know is that we face a physical side full of energy, who will be keen to get one over a league 1 opponent and are more than capable of causing an upset, so we must also rise to the occasion.

Should of gone to 'Spex' Savers!

2009-11-21T16:49:00.005Z

Lowestoft & District Division 1 21/11/09

Pot Black F.C- 2

Spexhall F.C- 3

Match Overview- After victory last week in the cup against Spexhall, both sides had a fair measure of the task at hand.

P.B were unfortunatly robbed of the services of the injured Vinny Terry & Simon Durrant, but still felt confident of producing chances and dominating possession.

The opening half hour was an entertaining affair with L'Orange creating like last week a plethora of chances that they failed to capitalise on and controlling much of the ball, although Kev Sherwood was called into action twice between the sticks.

The atmosphere of the entire match changed when Spexhall Captain Gavin Ward's out of character, but nasty tackle (non the less) from behind on Adam Bird saw him later admit he thought he'd broke his leg, only to see to the Referee leave his book in his pocket (if he even brought it at all?) to the amazement of all watching on including the Spex Captain if he's honest I'm sure. Yet the ref had made a brave decision as he effectively set the bar and opened up the match for an onslaught of petty swipes and nasty kicks. Which as expected, materialized (and went unpunished).

The Ref who was being accessed had previously stated he want to let the game flow and did not disappoint as Kev Sherwood claimed a high catch only to receive a late knee to the ribs, which with a quick retaliation could of seen both players in the book!....What Book?..."Play on".

Spexhall will now feel majorly aggrieved after a situation that should never of materialised, after Adam Bird blatantly fouled a Spexhall player on the halfway as everyone stops..."play on"... all saw the ball run towards Max Wall who in turn was kicked..."play on"... before another skirmish on the right...."play on"... saw a hopeful ball into the box not dealt with, as Danny Rose appeared to handle on the deck better than Mike Catt..."play on" as the ensuing fisty cuffs saw the Spexhall the number 7 wobble like Nikolai Valuev...."free kick to Pot Black", "**** Me, I can't ****ing Believe what I've just ****ing seen, **** the ********* it's just **** he's not ******* Banana **** ******* **** ****** **** and then some!!!!" says I or something to that effect.

After the break the home side started to play a little more football but were quickly undone after a mystery pass by Steve Collins saw Spexhalls Carl Brenhan punish him with a fine strike. Pot Black continued to plug away as chances where spurned time and time again as the visitors now started playing like a team as a nervous play saw last weeks goal scorer fire home a lovely finish to give his side a two goal cushion.

L'Orange now looked down and out, but at last found some spirit as firstly Darren Boyd stepped up to place home a captains penalty after a foul in the box, before Adam Bird out muscled the Spexhall back line (arguably a foul? "Play on") before stroking the ball home.

With this match seemingly only heading one way with Spex now flat as a pancake and L'Orange charging on a high hopeful ball was misjudged by Kev Sherwood who palmed the ball from of the line before two failed clearances saw Spexhall power the ball into the net, which from viewing their celebrations meant everything.

Looking back on the match we must not be to disheartened as this match could easily have gone the other way had we taken any of our dozen chances, the score would of looked some what different, but remember that possession and chances does not always win you games, on the day Spexhall deserved their victory, but next time around we must make them pay!!!!

Goals- Darren Boyd & Adam Bird

G.H.Windows & Doors M.O.M- Max Wall, tireless in the middle for the second week on the trot!

Next Match 21/11/09

2009-11-19T13:53:00.003Z

League Match

Vs Spexhall F.C (again)

@ Normo

meet at 1.15pm

With the last match very fresh in our minds, it is important to be on our guard for this encounter as we know that Spex have several players who have the ability to hurt us if they are given the opportunity. This week it is essential that we convert the chances we create!

A Tale of Two Halfs!

2009-11-14T18:04:00.006Z

League Knock Out Cup 14/11/09

Spexhall F.C- 1

Pot Black F.C- 2

Match Overview- At 11.30pm this morning things looked pretty ominous to weather or not this match might go ahead, as the sluiced down and the wind did a Michael Fish on us!

It was L'Oranges first trip to the newly updated 'Veasy Imperial Ground' and the fantastic new facilities are a credit to all the home sides hard work and effort in fund raising!

The great news is that the council have bought Spexhall's old port-a-cabin to improve on facilities at Normanston Park! Can't to get changed and not smell damp!!!

The opening exchanges of the first half were impressive for the home side as their strengthend and inform side displayed a vigour and movement that explains their good league start.

Pot Black themselves have now raised their game of late, with the usual team spirit fully returned and the smiles back on faces. P.B put a grin on the face of their manager after 20minutes when Paul Taylor and Simon Durrant both stood composed over a free kick won by Max Wall, but it was Durrant who did the damage after he powered his effort into the bottom corner.

L'Orange now dominated possession as the hardworking spexhall side we're chasing hard to make a mark on the game. Kev Sherwood was once called into action before the break with an strong hand, but Steve Collins started the move that increased the victory as his 50 yard pass found Vinny Terry who tortured the Spexhall right back before cutting in, to see his effort strike the post before falling nicely to Adam Bird to knock home.

The visitors were unlucky not to extend their lead before the break when the home sides keeper twice denied P.B firstly when Max Wall sent the ball top corner bound after some breath taking skill by Bird and secondly after the back line was out muscled by Bird who's one on one shot was diverted by the keepers outstretched foot.

In the second 45 minutes it became clear just how much the wind was playing a part in proceeding as L'Orange struggled to re-capture their first half style, but more importantly found it more difficult clearing their lines, despite a competent and domineering performance by Messrs Boyd, Boyd, Laws and Collins.

Taking away nothing away from a good second half outing for the home side as they controlled possession with some neat football, but luck played a large part in the eventual goal, as a powerful point blank shot brought out another firm hand from Kev Sherwood who saw his punch fire off Captain Darren Boyd's face and in the opposite direction into the net.

As a Footnote the match was excellently marshaled by Referee Steven Cole.

Goals- Simon 'Targa' Durrant & Adam Bird

G.H.Windows & Doors M.O.M- Steve Collins, never put a foot wrong all game, great touch and distribution, the only negative was that he had that smug look that he gets when he's done something well!

October Goal of The Month Winner

2009-11-13T15:01:00.007Z

OK let's face the facts... Birdy was out of position at left wing, he was breathing through his arse from about the 3rd minute of the match, he hit his shot from pretty much the side line and we were playing our arch rivals Kirkley 'A'! This goal was always going to win this month!

1st) Adam Bird Vs Kirkley 'A' (86% Vote)
jnt 2nd) Gav Hunt Vs Ole Frank (7% Vote)
jnt 2nd) Darren Laws Vs Kirkley 'A' (7% Vote)

Well done Bird, another fine finish and I owe you a pint once again! As for the other two better luck this month!

Meet the face of Christmas!!!

2009-11-13T14:42:00.004Z

As you all know Mick our illustrious chairman is well known for his festive spirit and peace to all man attitude, in fact he has been mistaken for Bob Geldof on more than one occasion and in much of Africa, Wally is known as simply Mr. Jingle bells!

As a result of his excitement at the forthcoming seasonal activities Walley's just rang to say "Ho, Ho, Ho... I just can't wait! Can we do something extra, extra special this year? Like a Nativity reenactment with Max in a crib? Or a Feast of Stephen Special? Or anything with tinsel? pleeeeeaaassseee!!!! I just wants some eggnog and a little Tra-La-La-La-La-La-La!" Ok so I may of over don't it but you get the idea!

As we originally spoke about a night out on the 28th November and our new planned date for a 'P.B.F.C Crimbo Bash' on the 5th December are pretty close we've knocked the first on the head.

'Pot Black F.C Christmas Bash'

5th December 2009,

@ P.B.H.Q,

Start 7.30pm,

Partners and supporters welcome,

Make sure you save the date as it should be a cracking night as Walley & I (his little helper) have got something special up our sleeves!

Next Match 14/11/09

2009-11-09T13:06:00.005Z

League Knockout Cup

Vs Spexhall

@ Spexhall

meet at Co-op at 12.30pm

After a good run in this competition last season where we fell at the final hurdle to eventual winners 'Hearts of Oak' following a cagey affair 1-0.

We have been dealt a very tough draw in the opening round against an inform Spexhall side who despite an obligatory pair of defeats by H.O.O have been absolutely flying in the league this year.

We will have to add to our improved performances in the last two weeks if we want to threaten the strong Spexhall side in the next two games as we have a double header with our opponents heading to Normo the week after for our first league encounter.

Suffolk F.A Junior Cup 3rd Round

2009-11-09T12:41:00.007Z

Vs Thurston F.C
28th November 2009
@ Normo

Can you bloody believe it? We never ever perform in this competition, as normally we draw an away match and are so focused on the booze for the way back we forget to play football! No need to fear lads, yet again we've been pulled out of the hat first. Meaning if you want our Little bus trip you need to turn it on once again!

At least we can judge the standard of our opponents, as they currently play in the S.I.L Division 1 the same league as Cockfield Utd who we played last term with a mix mashed squad.

Thurston F.C League Position

(As a result of this new fixture, our pre-arranged match Vs Norton Athletic away will now be rearranged, most likely for some time in the new year.)

Where was Ross Molby-Jones last week?

2009-11-08T14:00:00.004Z

Gaffer,

Can you defiantly confirm that Ross Molby-Jones was working Off-Shore last weekend, when he claims he was? As I'm not so sure, see what you think.

I spotted Ross last week in his Red Speedos on Bondi beach, just down the road from me in Sydney. I'm just so glad I had my camera... At first I thought it was Darren Laws, but he had no Tattoos, and after checking his moves I knew it was Jonesy for sure! In fact I think it might even be Max Wall behind him in the blue shorts?

***Ross on the beach***

Missing you all, Viva L'Orange

The Retard.

It's a boy!

2009-11-07T18:52:00.006Z

Congratulations must go to our Skipper Darren Boyd and his wife Sharon after the safe arrival of baby Oscar, a bonny little brother for Georgia to push around ("if shes anything like her mum!" only kidding Shaz honest).

After seeing the little man himself this afternoon, two things came to mind on inspecting the little cutie..One, he must of hurt cos he's a big'un, and secondly he's already got more hair than his dad, in fact he looks like he goes to the same barber as Max Wall & Rob Sterry!

Pot Black Youth Team here we come!!!

Love and best wishes from all at L'Orange.

Crown Dethroned!

2009-11-07T17:30:00.005Z

Suffolk Junior F.A Cup 07/11/09

Pot Black F.C- 6

Acton Crown- 0

Match Overview- Due to our former treasurers incompetence we were unable to raid the coffers to raise dosh to fund a club scout, after he blew our balance on a St Tropaz spray tan for him and Hotty for their weekend at Centre Parcs. As a result we entered the match blind, but aware of our opponents free scoring form.

Gary Boyd returned at left back in place of 'Too Hotty', Rob Cooper effectively filled the void left by the excellent Ian Wilson, but most notably Ben Le Compte returned to partner Max Wall with P.T happily taking his turn on the bench.

L'Orange made a dream start from kick off after a combination of a bakers dozen of passes saw Gav Hunt flick the ball into the path of Max Wall who fired home with just 40 seconds on the clock.

For the next 20 minutes Pot Black dominated but where unable to capitalise on their hard work, which frustrated all involved and could have proved costly had Kev Sherwood not produced a trademark one on one save.

The lead was doubled soon after when a Rob Cooper corner was headed on to the cross bar by inform defender Darren 'The Abyss' Laws, as the ball fell to the confident Gav Hunt who smashed home.

Rob Cooper impressed on the left wing as he danced and dazzle his way past man after man, and attained his target when he cut inside a crown defender before smashing the ball home for 3-0.

Just before the interval Crown were dealt a cruel blow when their impressive young keeper sustained a suspected broken leg when he cleared the ball in a one on one against Adam 'The Battering Ram' Bird as he appeared to kick against the powerful striker, an obstacle which as many know is more solid than it looks.

After the break Crown produced some of there best football as they upped their work rate and as a result increased possession. Although their rise would be short lived after a high looping Darren Boyd cross mystified the stand in keeper as Adam Bird nodded home.

The Wall & Le Compte pairing in the centre of the pitch continued to blossom with both playing pivotal parts to most moves. And the clubs wealth of options were proved when Paul Taylor replaced 'The Wall' continung where his young counterpart left off.

Vinny Terry was executioner in chief last week when he brought down his axe on Ole Frank, and once again he did the business with two more goal bound strikes, the first as he broke down the left before finding the bottom corner, the second as he mopped up on some poor communication before rounding the keeper and shooting into an empty net. Thankfully for L'Orange, Vinny looks set to continue his scoring form despite what at first looked like an awful injury which left him rolling in pain, turned out to be just Vinny panicking that some mud had got on his shinny designer haircut!

Praise must go to Acton Crown who after a torrid afternoon, with their plans ruined by the injury to their keeper, showed a fantastic attitude as they fought to the end, and post match shook hands and made nicety's down P.B.H.Q before the gruling 2 hour long journey back to home. Good luck for the rest of the season lads.

Okay I know its extremely easy to say how great a performance it was when you've just won 5-1 & 6-0 respectively, but there is no denying our vast improvement since the match against Oxford Arms, Not only has the football been devastating and nice to watch but we look like we've just woken up and remembered we're supposed to be enjoying ourselves! Playing with smiles! and if ever you forget that important aspect of our game again.... just remember that we finished this match with Cooper in goal, Lawsey in centre midfield, and Kev Sherwood up front if that doesn't raise a smile nothing will!!!

Goals- Max Wall, Gav Hunt, Rob Cooper, Adam Bird and Vinny Terry x2 (again)

G.H.Windows & Door M.O.M- Ben Le Compte, outstanding performance from the P.B play maker as he pulled the strings in midfield, even more impressive considering the crafty bugger switched with Lawsey claiming it a tactical move, when we all knew that he had cramp!

Next Match 07/11/09

2009-11-05T16:39:00.003Z

Suffolk Junior F.A Cup

Vs Acton Crown

@ Normo

meet at 12.45pm

As we previously mention, it's a great shame we've been robbed of a potential jaunt into deepest darkest Suffolk for an away trip, so it falls to you boys to secure a place in the next round!

Crown look like being a tough prospect but you never really know what you're up against til the whistle.

**Post match: Crab and Walley have organised food at P.B.H.Q, so it would be nice what ever the result if both clubs could celebrate an enjoyable occasion**

'Too Hotty' marches forward!

2009-11-01T14:10:00.004Z

I am very sad to say that following a ghastly accident involving a hover, a can of spray cream and his Venezuelan gardener Hector, Banksey has been castrated and as a result has resigned from both his post as treasurer and also from a regular playing role.

Due to this Pot Black F.C we're almost immediately engulfed with applications for the post, and with 6 of the 7 prime candidates mysteriously going missing, Scott Reynolds has successfully been appointed as Neil Banks replacement.

Scotty has already stamped his authority on the position, implementing 2 stringent rules:

1) Any player who fails to pay their subs at the ground post match, has until Sunday evening to get the cash to Scott, or they will be served with fix penalty of £2.00 which is non-negotiable.

2) From now on he will only answer to the names 'Herr Reynolds' and 'Oberfurher Too Hotty' "failure to comply vill result in termination".

Leben Sie lang und Gott segnet die Orange!!!!

Ole, Ole, Ole!

2009-10-31T17:09:00.003Z

League Match 31-10-09

Pot Black F.C- 5

Ole Frank- 1

Match Overview- After last weeks extremely disappoint result against a good Kirkley side, there was always the chance that Frank would endure the backlash of a agitated L'Orange.

Last years Cup scare against Frank then division 2 was fresh in every ones memories with a last minute extra time Adam Bird strike stealing victory.

Despite Franks poor start to the season, they started strongly with Kane Finch and Arnie High making sure that the ball was kept dominantly in the P.B half for the opening 5 minutes but it was this show of confidence and pressure that proved their undoing when Vinny Terry was released down the right after a deft Darren Boyd pass, saw his cross from the byline placed comfortably home by Adam Bird who appears to be regaining a little fitness.

A frustrating period ensued with L'Orange going close on several occasions which in truth were gilt edge misses. After two rather heavy challenges in the box on the ever impressive Ian Wilson drawing nothing but sneers from Ref David Banks, he was set free by Bird as he smashed his effort into the bottom corner and despite the linesman's desperate attempt to claim the off-side the goal was blatantly and correctly awarded.

Just seconds before the interval a brutal challenge from behind on Ian Wilson was deemed a foul, but the unravelling scenes that erupted where beyond belief, as Willo struggled to his feet after the challenge he was punched in the face three times and as he turn to walk away from the barrage of blows he was punched a further 3 times in the back of the head as the moronic thug was dragged by his stunned team mates as he continued to froth at the mouth, turning now with a verbal assault at other players!

As a result of what can only be described as GBH, Ian Wilson was taken to receive treatment for his split and bleeding mouth and black eye as the Referee produced the most mind numbingly absurd decision that anyone present has witnessed awarding a yellow card to the hooligan with the explanation he didn't see what happened, which is remarkable when you consider that players from other pitches approached us after the match to say they couldn't believe what they'd seen!!!!!

As the match never restarted before half time, Mitch Rumsey the Ole Frank coach made a decision showing his experience and class at this level, subbing the thug and effectively saving the match from a blood bath.

After the break with club's spirit unified by the attack, L'Orange proceeded to play easily their best football for months as they played and sprayed passes all over the park with Gav Hunt reaping the rewards of beautiful move that saw Birdy lay off for Hunty to fire home sealing Franks fate.

Vinny Terry now took over the shooting boots as his burst down the right was smashed home despite a disappointed Gav Hunt & Adam Bird eagerly poised like vultures unmarked for any scraps.

Credit must go to Scott Reynolds and Max Wall who both asked as Substitutions were to be made to be replaced self sacrificing for the good of the team as Gary Boyd, Keith Doddington and Simon Durrant entered the match with latter showing his class with a perfectly weighted pass for Vinny Terry to fire home.

Goals- Adam Bird, Ian Wilson, Gav Hunt, and Vinny Terry x2

G.H.Windows & Doors M.O.M- Gav Hunt, never stopped working and scored a goal he so rightfully deserved.

Next Match 31/10/09

2009-10-28T21:32:00.002Z

League Match

Vs Ole Frank

@ Normo

meet at 1.45pm

I don't need to remind you lads that after a tough match last year in the cup we scraped past a strong Ole Frank side in the last minute of extra time. They'll be baying for blood, so after an improved performance last week, we need to continue moving in the same direction. It's up to you!

Molby-Jones Sees Red!

2009-10-28T20:48:00.004Z

I just can't believe it! I hoped and I preyed but I really can't believe it!

The 'Pot Black Bat Phone' has been red hot this week with witnesses and stun bystanders eager to add their view to an incident that rivals 'JFK's assassination' and the 'Twin Towers Disaster' in a true where were you when you heard moment!

Yes it's true L'Orange fans, on Sunday 24th October 2009, during the Sunday sides defeat to Waveney Hearts, Ross Molby-Jones Pot Black legend and all round nice chap, received his first ever card in his footballing career.

Now I speak as someone who has seen that career flourish through the ages, from the tender age of 7, and can personally state that not only has Ross never been cautioned but he's never so much as been warned by a Referee.

Now after much confusion the truth has finally become clear and a reliable source (Banksey!) assures me that, Ross (who was off the pitch at the time) had just discovered his cow pie was missing from his kit bag and immediately accused the nearest person THE LINESMAN, branding him a thief! A row ensued and Jonesy was given his marching orders. I for one am not only delighted by the officials sensible, top notch performance but look forward to buying him a beer, as I can now officially say Ross has a worse disciplinary record than me!!!! Fantastic!!!!

Suffolk F.A Junior Cup 2nd Round Draw

2009-10-24T18:49:00.005+01:00

Vs Acton Crown F.C
07/11/09 @ Normo

Unfortunately we've been robbed of our dearly hoped for away trip by being the first club out of the hat believe it or not, and if that wasn't enough we've pulled a side who are bang in form in the domestic league down in sunny Sudbury scoring 21 goals in just 4 games, but leaking 16 also, so like always we'll have to see what the future will bring on the day!

Kirkley Stretch to victory

2009-10-24T18:08:00.003+01:00

Lowestoft & District League Division 1

Kirkley 'A'- 3

Pot Black F.C- 2

Match Overview- The league's shambles of a fixture arrangement saw us in our second match against Kirkley this term, who as stats will show are historically stronger on the lead up to Christmas (That's now Oxford played twice, Kirkley played twice, had it not been for the hard ground Hearts played twice..... and surprise, surprise who have we got next month Spexhall twice). Congratulations I don't know how you managed it!!!!!!!.

That aside Pot Black we're again forced into squad changes as they desperately search for some consistency and a better performance than their last venture against Oxford Arms. Richi Reeder came in for the injured Kev Sherwood, Max Wall returned, and Ross Molby-Jones doned his boots for the first occasion of the new season.

Kirkley were again strong with Shane Ward, Chris Mayhew and Michael Tacon all starting, and it was the later who gave his side the lead as a route one ball caught the defence cold early doors as he Cooley finished.

Pot Black took the game by the scruff of the neck and produced their best 30 minutes of football this season with Paul Taylor once, Adam Bird once and Vinny Terry twice seeing their efforts saved or narrowly wide. Adam Bird hit back for L'Orange after some excellent play by Scott Reynolds saw his left foot smash fly over the keeper and into the net.

P.B took the lead on the brink of half-time when Ian Wilson headed a point perfect Paul Taylor corner back across the box for Darren Laws to head home.

After the interval and 25 minutes of ping pong, Rob Cooper replaced Gav Hunt and Adam Bird was replaced by Ross Molby-Jones.

Unfortunately despite all our hard work, another slip cost us dearly when a direct through ball fell to Michael Tacon once again who comfortably slotted home. The winning goal came from a set piece deep in the P.B half with the visitors holding a firm line but to the credit of the Kirkley striker, who picked the P.B pocket as he stretched his neck to an impossible length to head the ball painfully over the outstretched arm of Richi Reeder.

On the day I personally think Kirkley deserved the win as they took their chances when the came, where as we did not. But we must look at the positives our performance was a 100% improvement on our last, and we managed to actually play some football worth watching, we admitted last year we were probably punching above our weight, just remember when we started last year we expected to win nothing, but enjoy every minute of it! This year must be no different! Lets enjoy playing again, let play like a team, and lets remember who we are.... We're Pot Black Football Club, we may not be the best side in the league but we are the best club in town! Viva L'Orange!

Goals- Adam Bird & Darren Laws

G.H Windows & Doors M.O.M- Scott Reynolds, despite only his second match after a long lay off, his commitment and desire was second to none.

Two More Hot Shot's For Mr. Baldry!!!

2009-10-18T18:25:00.004+01:00

Well it is safe to say, despite missing two penalties in the same match, that would normally have me pulling my hair out, spitting out swear words like Roy 'Chubby' Brown, and making my arse nipping up. But thankfully we got the win, and I can now reflect with sheer delight that we have two new members in 'The Darryl Baldry Hall of Hotshots' It's been a good year since Scooty Too Hotty joined the gang.

In fairness to P.T sooner or later as first choice penalty taker he was going to miss one and its easier to accept when it's to a supurb save....

But come on down, Mr Daniel Rose Esquire! With the big defender asking to take one of the five, his air of confidence saw him given the honour of taking number five. With Oxford blazing their 4th, to win the match, Danny strolled to the spot with the arrogance that made Andi Moller so damn good..... With an identical starting pose to Johnny Wilkinson he lifted his imaginary Cantona starched collar and he proceeded to fire his effort somewhere between the Shell Garage and the Winelodge! Just Brilliant!

All at Pot Black welcome Paul Taylor & Danny Rose to this illustrious club!

The Good, The Bad & The Ugly

2009-10-18T17:32:00.003+01:00

Suffolk Junior Cup 1st Round 17/10/09

Pot Black F.C- 2

Oxford Arms- 2 A.E.T

(P.B won 7-6 on pens)

Match Overview- With rumours circulating that Oxford would be playing a scratch team with many off to Newmarket this weekend, maybe this caused as a distraction for the Pot Black starting eleven who failed to raise their game to even a fraction of their league encounter.

On the other hand an arguably weaker Oxford produced a fantastic team performance which put to shame their opponents lacklustre nervous display, and were unlucky not to go into the interval more than 1-0 up.

Ian Wilson's intro before the break proved pivotal for the unwell Rob Cooper, as he snatched an equaliser after 50mins when he placed home a Paul Taylor pass.

One welcome inclusion to the starting eleven was Scotty 'Too Hotty' Reynolds after 5 mths out who successfully came through an hour at left back, being replaced by Darren Laws, with Richi Reeder taking over for Adam Bird.

Oxford rightfully took the lead after more indecision in the Pot Black ranks saw the Oxford Captain fire past Kev Sherwood from 6 yards, who for once was unable to rescue his side after a string of outstanding saves.

Fortune favoured L'Orange after a Kev Sherwood kick caused problems at the other end as the Oxford centre half stretched his neck incredibly to hinder Ian Wilson from pouncing only to see his header go past his own keeper.

L'Orange should have twice taken the lead after a panic in the opposing box as Gav Hunt's header hit a Oxford hand on it's way into the net, only to have play and celebrations stopped for a penalty, which Paul Taylor struck powerfully and confidently only to see the small keeper palm away unbelievably (mirroring his simply brilliant performance).

Extra Time was quite honestly a non-event with both sides tiring and both keepers keeping their teams in the competition.

Penalties were a slightly more interesting affair with Pot Black having 1 saved and 1 missed, and Oxford having 1 saved, 1 missed and 1 hitting the woodwork. But the final word came down to Kev Sherwood who dropped to his right to grasp the ball and passage into the next round.

As a footnote to this performance, we all know that it was far beyond what is expected and that we can not blame individuals everyone was equal on the day, we did not talk, play, pass, work or fight like a team! Desire and passion were missing! This must be dealt with! If we do this again WE WILL LOSE! Do not let it happen again.

Goals- Ian Wilson & O.G. Pens- Willo, Reeder, P.T, Lawsey, Rosey, Vinny, Kev, Boydie, Crab.

G.H. Windows & Doors M.O.M- Kev Sherwood, a string of great saves as well as the winning penalty save, and on top of that, one of the Oxford Arms players approached me to say he "...Never realised how good Kev was, he was bloody brilliant!"

Next Match

2009-10-13T18:28:00.003+01:00

Suffolk County Cup 1st Round 17/10/09
Vs Oxford Arms
@ Normo
meet at 1.30pm

We've had two weeks off so its essential that we guard against complacency, and grind out a result. I know that last time out the resulting score made the match look like a walk over, but so easily had they taken an early chance, the strong Oxford side could have caused us problems.

I for one would like a run in this competition, as I know how much everyone who made the trip to Cockfield enjoyed the celebrations on the coach back to the club even though we lost!

Banksey has the 'X Factor'!

2009-10-11T22:11:00.005+01:00

All at Pot Black Football Club would like to congratulate L'Orange's first team linesman Neil Banks (pictured left) on safely making it through to next weeks second live show after a impressive performance of T-Rex classic 'Get it on' under his alias Jamie Archer.

One sad not was that he had decided to cut most of his hair off for the picture we took at training yesterday on the left!

Well done, we really are proud of you!

Training (Re-visited)

2009-10-10T20:20:00.003+01:00

Well firstly I'd like to say a big thanks for all the lads who turned up and even those who came and showed their faces even though they weren't taking part.

I know I wasn't expecting a massive turn out as it was a last minute thing but even so after two weeks without a game it was a much need refresher and a good laugh for those who made it.

The 'Soccer AM' Cross Bar challenge was a particular highlight for me watching on as Doddy, Rosey and Banksey humiliated themselves, I refuse to point a finger directly but on one attempt the ball bounced twice before reaching the 18 yard box! So while they were flogging that dead horse, the rest of us were trying to resuscitate Reeder whose body had gone into anaphylactic shock after the warm up run.

But the only thing funnier than that, was the welcome return of Scotty 'Too Hotty' Reynolds after 5 months on the sidelines, he surprisingly looked quite sharp with some nice control and passing....... Although it wasn't all roses, with his fitness making Ross Molby-Jones look like Paula Radcliffe and the fact he was like 'Bambi on ice' and he could barely stand up for more than a minute without falling down again, I wasn't sure weather to check him for an inner ear problem or see if his boots were in fact roller blades? just hilarious! Welcome back mate.

September Goal of the Month winner!

2009-10-10T20:06:00.003+01:00

Despite the fact that he had some stiff competition to win this month, Willo has stormed to victory with his match winner against the 'old enemy' Kirkley as he chipped the keeper from 35 yards to claim 3 points and the plaudits of his team mates.

September Winner- Ian Wilson (66%)

Training Session

2009-10-09T18:14:00.003+01:00

At Normanston Park
Tomorrow Afternoon
meet at 2pm.

Obviously we've had a nightmare start to the season with 3 weeks without matches, so after a valid comment from Hunty, let's squeeze a training session in tomorrow afternoon. Clearly the pitches are too dangerous for a competitive match but a light session would be suitable even on the current surface.

Wall comes out of the closet!

2009-10-09T15:05:00.004+01:00

Well one player who will be doubly relieved this weekend that the match was cancelled is injured vice-captain Max Wall, who had failed to tell me that he'd hurt himself, but thankfully a reliable source was quick to grass on him.

Only two nights ago poor little Maximus was having one of the restless nights that he is renowned for, having a Nightmare he later explained as him 'being chased by Vanessa Feltz naked carrying a pot of Brussels pate demanding to be serviced, and he didn't think he was up to it'.... So in an attempt to avoid the feeling of failure, he jumped straight out of bed in a panic and stubbed his toe on the Ikea flat pack wardrobe on his bedroom floor!

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, you are closer to The Retard in your role of Party Liason than you think my boy!

Hearts Match Cancelled

2009-10-09T14:41:00.004+01:00

Well now you can see why I was not replying to your text's regarding weather the match was on or not, mainly because I couldn't get hold of anyone from the league for a definitive answer, but my instincts were right, the match is well and truly off!

As a result the match now looks like it will be rearranged for after the festive break.

Special thanks to a certain individual linked to a top Div 1 club for stirring up rumours that Micki Williams and I had hatched a plan to cancel the match prior to the call off, why Micki would want to cancel the match after the last time is beyond me? But hey if it makes you feel better keep whinging!

Best Wishes

The Gaffer

P.S- No doubt you all know that the England Match is on the Internet tomorrow instead of T.V, well some how 'The Dutchmans' will be playing it? I'll be there so I hope you can join me 5.15 K.O.

Next Match

2009-10-08T19:44:00.005+01:00

League Match 10/10/09

Vs Hearts of Oak

@ Normo

meet at 1.45pm

I know its disappointing that we've had to play the champs so quickly again after the spanking we received last match, and I totally understand the recent comments that Frank Spencer could of organised the fixtures more randomly, but who are we to question the sanity of playing two teams twice in the first two months.

Even so lads, all I ask you to do is think about how you felt after the last game.....?

I know they are the best team in the league and we are the clear underdogs against a side of (at the very least) Anglian Combination players who are wasting their time in the lower echelons of football, but If you don't want a repeat, it is time to stand up and fight!

Magpies Match Cancelled

2009-10-03T10:58:00.005+01:00

I'm sad to say after our fantastic result last week, due to the incredible dry spell we're experiencing our match against Magpies has been cancelled due to the hard pitches... It must be the first time ever a match in October has been cancelled for that reason?

I'll contact you as usual before next week.

Better Late Than Never!

2009-10-03T10:38:00.004+01:00

League Match 26/09/09

Pot Black F.C- 1

Kirkley 'A'- 0

Match Overview- Obviously there's been a slight delay this week as I've only just returned from a week away in the Lake District where the wife & I enjoyed the freedom of nature (pictured left).

P.B were left in the capable hands of L'Orange Legends Kev Sherwood and Ross Molby-Jones with The Crab doing the donkey work, paper etc.

The opposition were sporting the strongest Kirkley 'A' side that any of the home side had ever witnessed with Chris Mayhew, Steven Greenleaves, Darren Glynn, Shane Ward and Danny Tacon lining up for the Royals to name but a few.

Robbed of so many players, the home side proved once again that their large squad is not a luxury but a necessity, despite contrary comments from opponents in recent weeks.

Captain Darren Boyd returned in the nick of time to sure up the back line, with Paul Taylor, Jordan Wardrope and Adam Bird joining the party also.

Pot Black scored the only goal of a tight match against their arch rivals when Ian Wilson scored a delightful chip over the keeper against his former side just before the break to the plaudits of his team mates.

Despite Kirkley's unusually poor start to the season, we know that 3 points off the Royals is a fine 3 points in deed, highlighted even more so by the low from which we needed to lift ourselves from! Well Done lads I cheered so loud I nearly fell off a mountain!!

Goals- Ian Wilson

G.H.Windows & Doors M.O.M- Vinny Terry, Tireless from start to finish.

Next Match 26/09/09

2009-09-19T18:17:00.003+01:00

League Match

Vs Kirkley & Pakefield 'A'

@ Normo

meet at 1.45pm

We now have to seriously raise our game this week, and we know that historically Kirkley have displayed a top side when ever we met. So it's up to you lads to dig deep and claw out a result.

Knock Out for L'Orange

2009-09-19T17:34:00.004+01:00

League Match 19/09/09

Hearts of Oak- 6

Pot Black F.C- 1

Match Overview- Love them or hate them, when a score line finishes as it has it's impossible to deny they more than deserved their victory.

Unfortunatly despite all the pre match hostilities L'Orange never made it out of the starting blocks conceeding two soft goals in the first 5 minutes leaving P.B shell shocked, only to see Hearts dangerman Pike produce a beautiful piece of skill which was placed home by Ant Field effectively sealing there victory after only 15 minutes.

L'Orange did manage to string a little possession together prior to the break and saw there best chance a Darren Laws shot cleared off the line, an incident that saw Gary Boyd recieve a suspected broken wrist.

After the break both sides were bemused by some extremly soft decisions by referee Lee Garrod including two penalties (one apiece) that were quite simply in error, both of which were comfortable dispatched by Pike and Richi Reeder for P.B respectfully.

On the day the best team won no doubt about it, and the manner in which both sides conducted themselves was calmer and more restrained than expected, And for the first time I have to say I witnessed a Hearts that were graceful in victory. Well done , today you were worthy champions.

As for P.B, we need to rebuild and focus on our next match, lets face it 1-0, 3-1 or 6-1 it does not matter a defeat was always going to hurt and in truth it's easier to swallow as we weren't robbed by dubious decisions but were generally just awful and out played! The only positive was seeing Simon Durrant coming through his first 90 minutes in nearly 18 months after two dreadful injuries.

Next match boys we must find our normal team spirit, fight for each other and most of all play as a team.

Goals- Richi Reeder

"....Stupid Boy Pike!"

2009-09-18T13:40:00.006+01:00

With the big match fast approaching both sides had appeared to have decent and complimentary respect for one another, despite the fact that all involved know that blood lust and war will commence come the starting whistle.

Micki Williams (Hearts of Oak Manager) gave a brave and admirable prediction on the league forum 2-1 to us, and I myself have never said anything other than that they are the best side in the league and worthy champions.

But as the saying goes... "There's Always One!"

Come on down Hearts of Oak striker Kirk Gowing AKA Pike (from Dad's Army) who posted his Facebook status as follows...

Kirk Gowing said.... 'Little Pot Black lost the plot and thought they'd beat the Oak, just play for fun don't be so glum, we may go easy on you!

Little Pot Black fell asleep and dreamt of winning the game but when oak got 5 Pot Black were through their dream became real poo!

But Pot Black hit back with 3 of their own, they must have been smoking homegrown, So for Hearts this was a walk in the park, do Pot Black play in the dark? 5-0!

Wow.... What can I say? Had I not corrected much of his spelling I would of presumed it was the early work of renowned poet Edgar Allen Poe, but alas it was Hearts of Oaks very own Pike!

Well lads use this how you will, I'm saying nothing...... 'Stupid Boy!'

Next Match 19/09/09

2009-09-14T19:10:00.003+01:00

League Match 19/09/09
Vs Hearts of Oak
@ Normo Pitch 1
meet at 1.45pm sharp!

We may have a had week off, but no excuses will be accepted this Saturday if we fail to perform. Our large squad will be shuffled and people will unfortunately miss out as they did in our last game, but success is not gauged by one match but by a season and every member of the squad will be required to do there bit when asked!

Viva L'Orange!

Squad List Complete

2009-09-08T19:34:00.003+01:00

Okay so I've been hiding behind the words 'Currently Being Updated' on the 'Our Squad' page of the website for about 12 months hoping no one would notice.

Obviously I was rumbled and was then forced into pulling my finger out and taking some snaps of your ugly mugs.

If I have forgotten someone don't take it personally as I was preoccupied with replacing existing pic's for reasons such as "...I looked fat", "...My hair's a mess", "...My tan's really faded" and "...I look like Tito Jackson".

Our Squad

Where there's a Will!

2009-09-08T19:26:00.005+01:00

L'Orange are delighted to announce the capture of Will Denton as cover for the 2009/10 squad.

Will signed on after an impressive pre-season debut for the Pot Black Sunday side which saw him score one and claim five assists.

Will can be deployed in midfield or attack and his combination of blistering pace and brilliant footwork could cause problems for any opponent.

Will all at Pot Black welcome you to our club and hope you enjoy it as much as we all do! Good Luck.

Pre-Season Goal of the Month Winner

2009-09-06T21:42:00.004+01:00

Despite giving him a bloom good run for his money, Adam Bird's Breath taking finish versus a Bungay XI in Pre-Season has won this years first goal of the month competition.

1st) Adam Bird Vs Bungay XI (47%)
2n) Danny McKinley Vs Town Hall (41%)
Jnt 3rd) Ian Wilson & Vinny Terry (6%)

Well done Birdy, not only did you get my vote but now I owe you a pint!

International Match

2009-09-05T20:44:00.004+01:00

England Vs Croatia
7.30pm K.O. 09/09/09
P.B.H.Q

This Wednesday we're planning a soiree at P.B.H.Q to cheer on Fabio's boys at Wembley. So I look forward to seeing you all at the bar!

The Gauntlet has been thrown down!

2009-09-05T18:41:00.006+01:00

You heard it as clearly as I did.... "Birdy, I'm going to score more than you this season!" well don't say it if you don't mean it Mr. Laws. Yes Pot Blacks very own Bevis & ButtHead will be forced into a one on one duel 'Ant Vs Dec' style for the 2009/10 season.

As Mr. Bird has a clear advantage up front every goal Mr. Laws tucks away will count for 3! Who will score more? Let Battle commence.

Pot Black Football Club

The end of an era

NEW site under construction

End of Season Party

One Last Big Push!

Pot Black 'rocked' by Injury!

***March Goal of The Month***

L'Orange humbled by New Champs

They Don't Like It Up'em!

Waveney Title Chances Blown Away!!!

Highs & Lows Continue!!!

M'Uggs!!!

Pot Black Poker Night 2010

A light in the darkness!

Slap, Slap, Slap!

Go'go'going for Gold!

***Feb Goal of the Month***

3 in 4 as Wrentham shown 'The Bird'!!!

"Sorry Sailors He's left Port For Good!"

This Saturday Night, Don't Miss Out!!!

Revenge is sweet!!!

Pot Black Boyd by last gasp winner!

Time to stand up and be counted!!!

Words from the Retard 23-02-10

Pot Black Tour 4 (2010)

Meltdown

Not Good Enough!

I Don't Believe It!!!

Words from the Retard (better late than never) 13-02-10

*** BBC Exclusive- Breaking News!!!***

Guns hit by Lay Off!

Goal of the Month Poll

Macca Cracker!!!

L'Orange in Turmoil!!!

Words from The Retard 03-02-10

Next Match

All aboard!!!!!!!!!

Next Match

Pot Black F.C and the great Banksey 'Yeeeha' Plot!

L'Orange New Boys!

Knockout Punch!

Words from the Retard 20/01/10

Bank Holiday Decision

Where to next L'Orange?

Words from The Retard- 19/01/10

L'Orange need time to thaw!

Bank Holiday Consideration?

Return of the Retard...and his dirty little secret!

Next Match...

**December Goal of the Month**

Eat, Drink & Be Merry!

Pot Black Are Great!!!! Offical, Coz We Say So!

Apologies

Next Match 12/12/09

Hit's, Hit's, Hit's!

November Goal of the Month

Success, at what cost?

No Game This Week!

Just S***!!!!

Banks for the Memories!

P.B Bow Out!

Next Saturday

League Knock-Out Cup

Should of gone to 'Spex' Savers!

Next Match 21/11/09

A Tale of Two Halfs!

***October Goal of The Month Winner***

Meet the face of Christmas!!!

Next Match 14/11/09

Suffolk F.A Junior Cup 3rd Round

Where was Ross Molby-Jones last week?

It's a boy!

Crown Dethroned!

Next Match 07/11/09

'Too Hotty' marches forward!

Ole, Ole, Ole!

Next Match 31/10/09

Molby-Jones Sees Red!

Suffolk F.A Junior Cup 2nd Round Draw

Kirkley Stretch to victory

March Goal of The Month

Feb Goal of the Month

* BBC Exclusive- Breaking News!!!*

December Goal of the Month

October Goal of The Month Winner